Of Monsters and Mourning
by Shadow's Interceptor
Summary: Fate brings together a man who lost everything and a boy who had nothing. A family broken cannot be made whole. A family lost cannot be found. But as Cyan and Gau discover, family is not just those to whom you are tied by blood.
1. Strange People

_ For quite some time I've wanted to explore a father-son relationship between Cyan and Gau the same way I explored Shadow and Relm's relationship in __Of Sketchpads and Shadows__. This story is canon with Sketchpads but can also be read on its own. _

_ I want to thank author __**Auron Belmont**__, whose story __Youth, Man and Father__ inspired so many parts of my own interpretation of Gau and his rages. That story was the first one I'd seen that I felt portrayed Gau in believable and tragically wonderful way. To this day it remains one of my favorite stories in general and my all time favorite that features Gau_ as a main character_._

_ I do not own Final Fantasy VI and never will._

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The sun was warm on Gau's back and the dirt soft between his toes. All days were good days to be outside unless it was dark when it should be light and the sky broke into pieces and sent down forks of white fire that killed faster than a blink but this day was a special day. This was a good day to _hunt_. Those were the best days. Not just because they were nice, nice, nice but also because he might have a full belly by nightfall. He could always catch fish. Fish were fast, but he was faster and they were stupid but they didn't fill his belly like real meat did and the bones hurt when they got stuck between his teeth. If he got something big he could eat for _days_ and maybe share some and play with the ones he shared the meat with. Play was fun. He liked to play!

Noises on the wind caught his attention and he crouched low in the grass. His sun darkened skin, monster hide clothing, and dirt matted hair blended in perfectly with the dull greenish yellow late summer grass. Those noises were voices, people voices, and they were coming closer. The thought of running crossed his mind, talking people didn't attract anything good to hunt, only things big enough and mean enough to hunt him, but he was curious. He liked to watch people and liked it even better when he could take some of their food. It was meat, but different and very very very very very tasty. He would never share that meat, never never!

Two tall people crested one of the low hills and he remembered them. Gau cocked his head and made a curious sound in his throat. These were the river people who should have been dead but weren't. He was glad. He didn't like finding people bodies in the river, because he was a people too, even if he didn't act like other people. The wind changed direction and their scent washed over him. His mouth began to water. They had meat! Enough to share?

Just as the people were about to pass by his hiding place he leapt into their path.

"Uwaoo!"

They both jumped high and shouted loud. The big one with light hair even fell down when he landed! It was always so fun to make people jump! While the people recovered from the fright he crouched, cocked his head, and put on his most "I'm a hungry puppy please feed me" face.

"Ohh . . ." what was the word he wanted again? "Hungry!"

The darker haired people slowly reached into his pocket and drew out a strip of meat. Gau watched it with intense focus and snatched it quickly out of the air when it was thrown to him. It was a big piece and tough but very good, so good he didn't even notice when the people who threw it came closer till he was just over an arm's length away. A little jolt of fear ran down his spine when Gau looked up at the too-close-for-comfort people, but it was too late to run. In any case, this people didn't look threatening, even if he did have one of those long shiny single claws at his side. Gau stood up and felt a little better: the people was still bigger than him but it wasn't by quite as much as it seemed while crouching on the ground. He was the older of the two people and therefore should be the leader, but the lighter haired people who was only just picking himself off the ground was the bigger one and looked like the stronger one so therefore he should be the leader. Why were people so confusing?

The dark haired people put a hand on his chest. "I am Cyan, and this is Sabin."

It took Gau a moment to realize the people was talking to him. People never tried to talk to him, they only tried to run away . . . But these were new people, these Cyan and Sabin, and they weren't afraid! The thought was so delightful that Gau began to bounce in place.

"You Sabin . . ." He pointed to the lighter haired people. "You Cyan . . ." He pointed to the darker haired people. Cyan and Sabin nodded and Gau let out a series of happy yips. These were _nice_ people! They gave him food and talked to him and told him their names!

"Me want more food!"

Sabin shrugged and held out his open arms. "Sorry, all gone!"

Gau stopped his bouncing and frowned. They were adult people and he was a young people, if they were nice and gave him food once then maybe- "You go . . . get more for me."

He cringed and prepared to run or roll over in submission. But Sabin and Cyan didn't make any threatening gestures. If he suggested such a thing to the adults in his old pack they would thrash him because he was no puppy and could get his own food or starve.

Sabin snorted. "You're a regular little munchkin, huh?"

Gau didn't know what a munchkin was but he wasn't it and he didn't like being called it. He turned to face Sabin full on, squared his shoulders, expanded his chest, and barred his teeth in a threatening display. And immediately regretted it. These people were nice, he shouldn't be trying to scare away nice people! But . . . they weren't running away? Gau cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"And you . . . afraid of me?"

They weren't even looking nervous: Sabin was standing as tall as he could, very tall, and throwing out his chest so he looked big, very big! The very big, very tall people clenched his hands into fists and waved them in front of his face.

"You want some of this?"

Sabin . . . wanted to fight? But if he wanted to fight then why wasn't he showing one of the many different shiny claws that people carried? As far as Gau knew he was the only people who fought with his body alone.

"Me not want hurt you . . ." he whined. In a flash the solution came to him: Sabin didn't want to fight, Sabin wanted to _play!_ That was why he wasn't showing one of the shiny people claws, just like when he played with the others on the plains. Claws and teeth were for threats and hurting, bare paws waving meant play! Gau's eyes lit up as they stared Sabin down, waiting for the big people to start his game.

The sides of Sabin's mouth turned down. "Stop looking at me like that!" He lunged towards Gau, fists leading the way. With a happy yelp Gau jumped into the attack and met Sabin with his own flurry of punches and strikes. No blows were hard enough to really hurt and it was easy to leap out of the way or grab the big people's fist to throw it off course. Gau gleefully capered in circles around the larger people: this was fun! When Sabin finally backed down, huffing and wheezing, Gau halted as well but continued to bounce in place.

Between gasps Sabin managed to croak out, "You're pretty tough . . . for a little guy!"

"Wah-ha-ha," Gau threw back his head and brayed, "That fun! You strong!" With a playful growl he sprang at Sabin. The big people threw up his hands in surprise, but stubbornly met the charge head on. To his surprise Gau didn't try to strike him, only lead him on a merry chase till his head spun.

"You fall for it!" Gau howled gleefully at the panting Sabin, "You fall for trick!"

"Shut up!" Sabin snapped. Gau just laughed and laughed. This was fun fun fun!

Gau stopped his laughing when Sabin's eyes narrowed to a harsh glare. The big people's lips twitched, a precursor to drawing back and exposing teeth in an angry threat. But just before he was sure Sabin was going to snarl and snap and drive him away Cyan put a heavy hand on the bigger people's shoulder and firmly pushed him aside so as to come between him and Gau.

"Do simmer down, sirs!" he admonished. After a moment Sabin's frame lost its tense, angry aura and Gau allowed his own wariness to dissipate as well. Sabin was strong but Cyan was stronger, not in the way to lift or throw or hit things but in the way of telling others what to do. Gau liked that. The best leaders rarely had the strongest bodies, but they knew how to command those around them. He quivered in anticipation when Cyan's dark eyes focused on him. Leaders didn't play, but people were strange so maybe Cyan would play like Sabin? "And thou, o wild one . . . who might you be?"

Gau cocked his head to the side. "Thou?" He'd never heard that people sound before. People sounds were strange, most were nothing at all like any other sounds, but this one was. It rolled off the tongue like a bay or a howl or any number of other noises. It was a fun people sound!

"Thou! Thou!" Gau capered around Cyan while testing out this new sound. After so many bouncing circuits around Cyan, Gau looked up at the dark haired people- he wanted Cyan to be proud of him using this new sound! But Cyan wasn't looking at him. One last 'Thou' trailed off into silence from Gau's lips. Cyan's head hung low, turned away from him and Sabin. Every muscle in his body was tense, as if he were ready to spring, no, tenser than that, tight with pain. Bad pain. Or . . . Gau quailed, rage.

Shoulder's hunched so he looked as small as possible Gau crept towards the dark haired people. "You angry?" he whimpered.

There was no response, save for a slight jerk in both shoulders.

"Cyan!" he whined, "You angry . . . me?" He twisted his head to the side, barring his throat, and crouched lower to the ground.

"Cyan! You angry . . . me?" Cyan had to be angry. Gau did not smell blood that would mean a bad wound and Cyan had not been like this before so it could not be a bloodless injury that caused pain. This was anger, not pain, but if it was anger then why wasn't Cyan striking out or shouting or doing anything at all?

Gau's belly almost scrapped the dirt he crouched so low. "Cyan! You angry . . . me?"

One of Sabin's huge hands grasped Gau's shoulder and tugged him upright, then some distance away from his worryingly silent companion.

Sabin's gaze flickered from Cyan then back to the still cringing Gau. He lowered his voice to a whisper so only Gau could hear.

"Listen, his family just . . . his family was just murdered. Right in front of him and he couldn't do anything to stop it. Family, friends, kingdom, all gone, just like that," Sabin's throat clenched and his whole body shuddered, "Just then I think you reminded him of his son. So give him some space . . . Okay?"

Many of the people sounds Sabin used were only half familiar, but the tone of his voice conveyed the gravity of the situation perfectly. Pack was friends, that was easy. But family, family was a word Gau didn't know so well. He scrunched up his nose as he thought hard. Family was . . . family was like pack but more. It was the mother and the father and their babies. Gau let out a long low whine. It _was_ pain, not anger that was making Cyan react so. Everything and everyone was gone and never coming back and Cyan was all alone. Gau knew what it was like to be alone.

"Me understand . . ." he told Sabin. Very quietly Gau crept over to Cyan and tapped him lightly on the elbow. Cyan jumped at the unexpected contact and swiped the back of his hand over his eyes before setting his dark eyes on the wild boy. Gau looked up at him with wide eyes set deep in his almost too thin face. The boy made a keening noise in his throat and averted his gaze. "... me sorry," he whimpered, "Gau not mean person . . ."

With that he looked away entirely. He didn't like to hurt things, but he made Cyan hurt, and he would do anything to take it back, because Cyan was a nice people and now he was alone and it already hurt so much sometimes to be alone . . .

Gau flinched when large callused hand patted him gently on the back. "Water under the bridge! Let us not dwell on such things." While many of the people sounds were familiar, Gau could not figure out just what the older people meant by them. But more important than the people sounds themselves was the way in which they were said. Cyan's voice was not happy, even though he tried to make it sound that way. But neither was it angry. Gau dared a glance up at the dark haired people and detected no malice in the deeply lined face. Were things okay now? Did Cyan forgive him for causing him hurt? Taking another risk Gau voiced these concerns with a questioning yip. The lines at the corner of Cyan's eyes wrinkled and his hand once again patted Gau's back. This time he didn't flinch.

"Sir Gau, I have a feeling we will get along quite well. Wilt thou join us?"

Join us? Gau quivered in excitement. No pack here would let him stay for very long because he was a people, but Cyan and Sabin _were_ people like him! Nice people! Nice people who shared food, talked to him, told him their names, played, and didn't get mad even when he did something so so so bad that made Cyan hurt very very much.

Gau threw back his head in an ecstatic howl then bounded joyfully around the watching people. His people! His pack! He didn't have to be alone anymore.

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_ I love Final Fantasy VI dearly, but good grief sometimes it's difficult to write around the game dialogue! Good thing this is the only chapter I planned to use extensive amounts of it- pretty much because it's one of the only non optional scenes where Gau says more than a sentence or two. I'll try to update this story a touch quicker than I did Sketchpads. The chapters are going to be on the shorter side and I have just eight planned. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!_


	2. Peculiar Boy

_ So, I find myself in the all too familiar position of having bitten off more than I can chew. Between preparing for goat babies being born out in the barn, reading two different books, playing three different video games, helping some friends move, and beta reading an awesome fanfiction I've had little time to do my own writing! Sorry about that guys! _

_ On the subject of the fanfiction I am beta reading, if anyone likes Final Fantasy IV or just good fantasy in general I urge you to check out "The Secret of the Sunstones" by __** .78**__. It is heavily based upon the plot of Final Fantasy IV at the start, but with an original world and characters._

_ Thanks to __**SirKaid**__ and __** .78**__ for their kind reviews! And, as always, a huge thank you goes out to Antismurf Lord of Darkness, who convinced me to write this whole story rather than only the epilogue as I had previously planned. _

_ I do not own Final Fantasy VI and sadly never will._

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The icy winds of Narshe cut through Cyan's cloak and coated his face in a thin layer of frost as he paced the high walls of the mining city. As it was embedded partway into the side of a mountain this city was an almost perfect defensible structure. Any approaching troops would be seen coming from far off, giving the guards plenty of time to prepare, and the city itself was constructed in layers, each one more easily defended than the last. The final defense was the mines themselves, and the labyrinthine canyons of stone and ice leading to them. It truly had been a stroke of genius on the part of Celes when she suggested they bait the imperial army into those canyons rather than make their stand in the city proper. Even so Cyan grimaced at the thought of the imperial general, disgraced or not.

Thankfully she was gone with the young thief, Sir Sabin, and his brother on their quest to retrieve the young woman who had reacted so violently to the frozen esper so he did not have to confront her face to face on a daily basis. Thoughts of that strange shy young woman gave him something new to contemplate, much more amenable than his unease concerning the general. Though . . . when he thought about the way the young woman twisted the elements to her command in the face of the empire's soldiers, then had changed into some sort of creature and flown away . . . a shudder that had nothing to do with the cold wracked Cyan's frame.

Abruptly the older warrior turned and marched towards a set of stairs leading off the wall. Taking care to avoid the patches of ice that decorated the steps in spite of the Narshen guards' best efforts at keeping them clear, Cyan took the stairs two at a time in his haste to be away. Everything was all so wrong. Magic. Traitors. An empire built on twisted experiments and fairy tales that strove not just for domination of people but also of forces that should not exist at all. It was all strange and all wrong. He wanted to go home.

A strangled sound tore from his throat as an agony he was becoming all too familiar with washed over him. The walls of Doma Castle may still stand tall, but Cyan's home was destroyed more completely than he could have ever imagined. Elayne and Owaine, his king, his friends, his people, were dead. Down to the last child; they died while he lived.

"Why?" he asked himself in a muted moan. A young couple looked at him strangely as they passed and Cyan quickly turned away. Not caring if anyone stared he ran the remainder of the distance to the inn where the town elder had kindly provided a room. More than a few people were startled when he yanked the door open and stormed through the common area towards the personal rooms. His hands shuddered so badly that it took four tries just to fit the key into the lock on his room's door. Only when he was finally surrounded by the privacy of the four walls did Cyan allow himself to break down. Sitting down hard on the edge of his bed the last warrior of Doma held his head in his hands and cried silently until his eyes were raw and his throat almost too tight to breathe. Every day when he woke up he expected all of this to be a bad dream. He would roll over, kiss Elayne good morning, and tell her all about this nightmare before getting himself and his son up and ready for their morning swordsmanship lessons. But no matter how many times he awoke, the nightmare remained real.

By the time Cyan's tears ran dry the moon had already risen high in the sky. He took deep breaths to steady himself, but did not bother to rise. Now that it was done, the shame of giving in to such a display of emotion burned nearly as much as his grief. He was a warrior of Doma! Doma was gone_._ To act in such an infantile fashion brought nothing but shame upon his house! His house was no more. A true warrior did not give in to the weakness of extreme emotion: to do so would invite the scorn of even his own blood! Elayne and Owain were dead.

He couldn't quite bring himself to care that he hadn't eaten since yesterday evening: the empty feeling in his stomach was eclipsed by the yawning hole in his heart. Arvis and Banon commented on his haggard looks often and the way the flesh was rapidly dropping off his bones, but he couldn't find it in himself to care about that either. Nothing mattered anymore.

There was nothing left to do but lie back and attempt sleep. Perhaps when he woke in the morning this nightmare would be over. Without bothering to even remove his boots or sword belt Cyan stretched out on the mattress and closed his eyes.

In the room's opposite corner something stirred. Cyan was instantly alert to the out-of-place sound. For the first time since entering the room Cyan became aware that things were distinctly out of place. The window was open a crack, allowing a tendril of cold wind to stir the curtains, the edges of which were coated with snow. It had been quite some time then, since that window had been opened. The small table and chair opposite his bed were also out of place; tugged close to the corner as if to create some sort of small cave. And in the darkness of that artificial cave something stirred.

Cyan sat up and placed a hand on his sword's hilt. "Show thyself, fiend!" he growled.

The thing under the table shifted again and let out a pitiful whine. "Uwaooooooo . . ."

Cyan's eyes grew wide at the familiar sound. "Sir Gau?" Four quick strides carried him across the small room where he put his hand on the edge of the table to steady himself before crouching down and looking closer at the mound of shadows. Two unmistakable bright tawny colored eyes peered back at him from the darkness. What in the world was the young man doing in his room? And, Cyan failed to suppress a grimace, how long had he been there?

"What are thou doing?"

Gau whined again and his tawny eyes disappeared as he shut them tight. When Cyan's eyes adjusted to the poor light he was able to make out the wild boy's gawky frame wedged into the room's corner and curled into the tightest ball possible.

"Pray tell, Sir Gau, what doth ail thee?"

The only answer forthcoming was another long whimper. Despite his best intentions, Cyan began to feel his irritation rising. Having been raised by monsters Gau had every right to his terrible communication and social skills; but that did not make it any less frustrating for those around him. In particular, Cyan found himself becoming more and more aggravated with the boy. Once reaching civilization Gau had attached himself to his side like a tick to a dog. Every time Cyan turned around Gau was in his shadow, cringing and hiding more often than not. More times than the older warrior could count he nearly broke his neck tripping over the wild boy. He truly _did_ try to be civil and understanding but sometimes even his patience was stretched to the limit. Especially when Gau worked up the courage to ask questions.

Just this morning he'd snapped angrily at Gau's ceaseless curiosity, sending the boy scurrying for his own quarters as if he'd been struck. The moment the words left his mouth guilt started to fester in Cyan's gut. Gau hadn't deserved to be yelled at . . . he didn't deserve any of Cyan's negative feelings towards him. He was a child, a child who, like all children, wanted answers and needed people more experienced in life to guide them to those answers. But Cyan couldn't help it . . . Gau reminded him too much of Owain . . .

"Want go home."

Those words snapped Cyan out of his thoughts just abruptly as his words had struck the boy that morning.

"Sir Gau," he said softly, "What didst thou say?"

Tawny eyes opened again to stare at him.

"Want go home," Gau repeated, "People all angry . . . people not like Gau . . . Gau not know why . . . miss home . . ."

The guilt festering in Cyan's gut from earlier came bubbling up with a fury. There was absolutely no reason he should have been cross with the boy, no matter his own mental state! He let go of the table's edge and settled himself cross legged on the floor. By leaning forward and propping both elbows on his knees Cyan was able to bring himself down to the cringing Gau's level.

When he spoke he tried to make his voice as comforting as possible, "My words this morning were spoken in haste. I apologize. They were not meant to cause thee pain."

"You angry?"

"No," he reassured, "Any anger I had, twas greatly misplaced. I hath no anger towards thou."

Gau's eyes opened a little wider and he uncurled from his little ball into a more normal sitting position. Though, it could hardly be called "normal" so long as they boy was hunched under that table.

"Why people angry me?" Gau whimpered. The boy looked at him with desperate pleading eyes.

Cyan was incredibly confused. "What dost thou mean? Thou art a favorite with all who meet thee." Everyone, from Sabin and his brother to the treasure hunter, shy young woman, and imperial general were nothing but kind to the boy. Even the staff at the inn did their best to try and make him comfortable, always sparing a smile for Gau and looking in on him to make sure everything was alright.

Gau shook his head and let out a little sound of despair. "No! People angry, Gau not know why! Show teeth, show teeth at Gau! That mean Gau do wrong, people no like Gau . . . Me do nothing! Why show teeth?" Gau buried his head in his hands and tried to make himself as small as possible again.

Cyan sat back, perplexed. Show teeth? What in the gods' names did Gau mean by people showing teeth at him? Then it hit him. A memory from a few weeks ago of the assassin's great black dog pulling back its lips to reveal a mouthful of gleaming teeth when Cyan offered a hand for the creature to sniff flashed before his eyes. To one not versed in the ways of animals, the threatening display may have resembled a smile. If one were not versed in the ways of people, could not such a misunderstanding be reversed? That would explain, he mused, why Gau clung to him and no other: Cyan was certain no such expression of joy had been on his face since Doma.

"Gau, I believe thou doth misunderstand," Cyan began slowly, how did one explain a smile, an action so simple and unconscious that it was a part of one's knowledge before speech itself? Gau's tawny eyes became visible as the wild boy uncovered his face to make a questioning sound.

After taking a moment to think Cyan continued, "When a person exposes their teeth to another, tis rarely a hostile action; we call it a smile. A smile is an expression of happiness. If someone shows teeth at thou, tis a good thing; they hath no anger towards thee."

Gau cocked his head to the side. "Show teeth . . . happy?"

"Yes."

When Gau finished digesting this new information he let out what Cyan judged to be a frustrated snort. "People strange. Confuse Gau." But then his tone softened and he peered at Cyan with eager eyes, "People no angry me?"

"Not in the least," he assured. With a happy yip Gau scrambled out from under the table and did a quick lap around the small room, finally stopping to crouch in front of the still sitting Cyan while bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Why you no smile?" the boy suddenly asked, "Gau know you sad, you hurt. That why you no smile?"

Cyan's jaw nearly dropped at the boy's perceptiveness. Although, he had just spent nearly forty minute crying while Gau was in the room. An idiot could have realized that he was hurt and sad. Lack of human contact or not, Gau was no idiot. Still, for him to so quickly put the pieces together and realize that this was the reason Cyan never smiled was admirable. Cyan averted his gaze.

A distinctive growling sound emanated from the wild boy's stomach. Cyan gratefully embraced this unexpected opportunity to change the subject.

"Hast thou eaten today?"

Gau shook his head. "Me want to hide, think everyone angry. That why I come here. Door no open here."

The door may have been locked, but the window certainly hadn't been. He would have to show Gau how to lock his own door once their trip to the kitchens was through. Using the table as a lever Cyan pulled himself to his feet. Gau stood as well, but continued to bounce and fidget.

"Come, let us find thee something to eat," Cyan said to the enthusiastic boy. Gau said nothing, but he stomach rumbled once more. To Cyan's shock, his own gut growled as well, as if in response. Gau's tawny eyes sparkled with laughter at the curious coincidence.

"You hungry!" he yipped.

Cyan paused for a moment. "I . . . suppose I could eat something."

He unlocked the door and together they made their way to the kitchen. Between his unfailing politeness and Gau's new exuberance the cook was happy to stoke the dying embers in the fireplace to heat up enough remnants of today's meals to make two plates. At Cyan's prompting Gau tried smiling at the grey haired woman who delivered them their food. When she jumped in surprise and asked Gau if he was feeling poorly Cyan could not blame her. The boy's smile had far more in common with a teeth barring snarl than a typical expression of happiness. That could be worked on tomorrow. For now it was enough that the boy was no longer afraid.

"Gau, thou shouldst eat thy vegetables. Tis rude to push them around your plate so."

"Uwaoo," Gau whined petulantly. He'd finished the meat quickly but, like most children, was less than thrilled about eating anything green and leafy.

"Owai-," Cyan stopped and cleared his throat, forcing his suddenly misty eyes to focus as he did so, "Gau." He spoke with a deep commanding voice that left no room for argument.

Gau made one more noise of discontent, but set about clearing his plate completely immediately after. Perhaps tomorrow he would teach the boy the finer points of using silverware rather than one's fingers. Elayne and Owain's smiling faces flashed before his eyes and for just a moment Cyan thought he could hear their voices. If the nightmare hadn't ended by tomorrow, he would teach Gau that.

This nightmare could not last forever.

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_ Thankfully after a discussion with my beta reader I now have a rough outline of chapter three, where before I had a gaping hole in the storyline I had no idea how to fill. I can't promise it will come quickly but I promise it will come._


	3. Fight with Tongue and Claw

_As per the game, those characters who were left behind in Narshe decide to show up soon after the gang finds Terra in Zozo. Let's see what Cyan and Gau were up to during that journey, shall we?_

_My thanks go out to __** .78 **__and __**MoonlitRain015**__ for their kind reviews. And as always, a huge thank you must be given to my beta, __**Antismurf Lord of Darkness**__. He's 80% of the reason the stuff I write is any good!_

_ I do not own Final Fantasy VI._

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Jidoor, Cyan named this place of tall buildings and people who acted tall even if they weren't and all smelled sickly sweet wrong. They were here because 'Locke the thief' told a bird who told them to be here, not with people sound words but still with words. Gau didn't quite understand, even when Cyan showed him the thin white thing with black scratches on it. He said the scratches were words but words were sounds, not marks. 'Locke the thief's' words that were not sounds told them that he, 'Sabin Mr. Thou when Gau wanted to play', 'Edgar littermate brother to Sabin', and 'Celes who Cyan did not like' found 'Terra who was not quite a people' in a place called Zozo. Cyan and he traveled south to Figaro where Gau didn't like the heat but liked the chocobos then south of that to South Figaro where they took a boat across the deep water. Ocean, it was called. Gau liked that very much; climbing around the ship was fun and the people who made the ship work liked to see him bouncing around up high, even if Cyan didn't and told him to come down or else he'd fall.

This place was different than all the other people places, towns, he had visited. As they entered the gates Gau was transfixed by the tall buildings made of a stone so white it hurt the eyes to look at. Everywhere he looked there was a new marvel. People passed them by wearing clothing in colors so bright Gau almost couldn't believe they were real. There were trees here, like outside the walls but not like outside the walls at all. They grew all in straight lines and were formed into shapes trees did not make. Even the ground was strange, made up of flat squares stones all fit together without a single blade of grass of spec of dirt interrupting their smoothness. When they passed by a little pond made out of the same white stone as the buildings with a stone woman inside Gau simply had to stop and stare. The water that flowed from the stone woman's hands to fall in the pool below was clear as fresh rainwater. With bright eyes Gau reached out and passed a hand through the misting stream of water.

"Uwaooo."

Cyan stood not too far away, but he was looking at all the buildings around them. Why would anyone want to look at buildings, as big and white as these ones were, when there was a stone that gave water! Again Gau passed his hand through the falling stream then playfully pawed at the rippling water in the pool at the stone woman's feet.

Suddenly a pair of heavy hands fell on his shoulders and Gau found himself spinning away from the little pond. He hit the ground with a yelp of pain when his shoulder jarred against the unnatural square stones. A shadow blocked out the sun as the man who had thrown him, a man with a shiny golden shell and a long people claw, sword, at his waist moved to loom above him like an angry wolf confronting an interloper.

"How many times do we have to chase you damn Zozo scum out before you learn your lesson?" the man snarled. He drew back a leg as if to give Gau a kick in the ribs. Gau didn't wait for the blow to land. In an instant he was up scrabbling away on all fours growling back at the shiny gold man. When he felt the wind of a shelled foot's passing all too close Gau spun and fixed his blazing tawny eyes on the taller man. He settled into a threatening crouch, as if about to spring, out of the man's reach and twisted his face into a fearsome snarl of challenge. The man stepped back a pace, most people did when Gau confronted them this way, as a hand went to the hilt of his claw, sword.

"What the hell?!"

The fires in Gau's eyes blazed brighter and his snarling dropped an octave. Who was this creature to threaten him? _He _was the strong one here, not this shiny people. People were weak and soft no matter how sharp their metal claws or how thick their metal shells. They could not stand to his claws and fire! He would burn and tear and roar his triumph over his prey's smoking corpse!

But before he could leap into the air and come down burning and ripping and clawing and biting a second, larger people stepped between Gau and his prey. Anger rose in him: that was _his_ prey! But just as soon as that anger flared is was eclipsed by shame.

Cyan did not go for his own sword, though the shiny gold man had his almost free. Gau sensed a subtle tension lacing his large frame, even though he looked calm as a windless day. "Dost thou hath a grievance with mine young companion, sir?" he spoke with an easy, steady strength that didn't seem right. In his place Gau would be spitting and snarling and fighting to defend his friend, not wasting time with words.

Peering through Cyan's legs Gau could see the shiny man take a step back, confused.

"Your companion?" he asked.

Cyan nodded. "Sir Gau, thou may stand." Gau let out a little sound of unease as the wild urges retreated in response to Cyan's words. Slowly he stood.

Once Gau was on his feet Cyan turned back to the shiny man. "If I am not mistaken, thou art a city guard. Sir Gau and I find ourselves in need of lodgings; might we trouble you to provide a recommendation?"

The man looked as conflicted as Gau felt. When he gave in to Cyan's request and started to speak of several inns close by Gau's conflict transformed to confusion. Just moments before the shiny man had been like a wolf turning out a trespasser on his territory. Gau reacted in kind: he was the stronger and by his strength he had a right to go where he wanted. He would have fought and won but Cyan didn't fight and still won. And where Gau's fighting would have had the shiny man cringing and running or dead, Cyan had him following orders! How? Did the shiny people just know that Cyan was the stronger and not bother to fight? But if that were the case then why hadn't he done the same with Gau?

Looking around at the blinding white buildings and bright clothed people with a new wariness, Gau followed Cyan in the direction the shiny man pointed. When they passed a different man with the same gold shell Gau couldn't stop himself from growling. To his satisfaction the man jumped away as if he'd been bit. Then a hand set itself on Gau's shoulder and it was his turn to cringe.

"Not here, Sir Gau," Cyan whispered. With one last look at the startled shiny man, who started talking with the one who pushed him down, Gau let out a little whine and meekly followed Cyan away.

0 00

Even with the constant drizzle weighing down the air with moisture the stench of this place was enough to make Cyan's eyes water. Though he was loathe to admit a consensus with any of the opinions held by the pompous self styled "hero" guards of Jidoor, he could understand their less than favorable opinion of Zozo and its inhabitants. Towering buildings that dwarfed even Jidoor's massive manses leaned against the sheer face of the mountain for which the town was named. At best they looked incomplete. At worst the structures, many of which hung over the street in which he and young Gau walked, appeared ready to topple over at the slightest provocation and creaked abominably whenever a gust of wind whistled by.

The people looked the way Zozo smelled. Sour, rank, stale, with an undercurrent of decay. The population seemed to be overwhelmingly male, though Cyan did spy a few women lounging in doorways or windows. People stalked the wet streets like feral dogs, slinking and sneaking their way around the newcomers. Cyan was grateful that most kept their distance.

Gau looked as uneasy as Cyan felt. Scant moments after entering the town Gau's posture reverted to the one he'd held while traveling through the Veldt: knees always bent, shoulders slightly hunched, head perpetually cocked to one side or the other. Once reaching Narshe it had only taken Cyan a few delicate words to convince Gau to adjust his posture to something more suitable. But now he was too preoccupied with watching the gleaming eyes in the shadows and attempting to decipher the confusing map Locke had drawn to Terra's location while sorting through the contradictory directions the shifty eyed fellow in the tavern had given him to bother correcting the wild boy.

Out of one dank alleyway staggered a vicious looking fellow with a sword at his belt. The man tottered into Cyan and Gau's path where he halted and stared at the newcomers with eyes that were surprisingly sharp and clear; a marked contrast to his drunken gait. Behind him Gau growled softly.

"What might I do for thee, good sir?" Cyan asked. The sooner he found out what this man wanted the sooner they could be on their way. He thought the perilously tall structure that was more frame than actual building at the end of the street might be where Locke's map bid them to go.

The man wrung his hands together and spoke in a piteous tone. "A few gil, tha's all. 'Nuff for a meal an' a bed an' a drink? Whadaya say, eh? Jest a few. You can spare it, ya?"

Cyan had a good idea that most of whatever coin he gave the man would go towards the last item on that list, if not to something even more distasteful. But if it would get him to move . . . Cyan sighed and pulled a jangling coin purse from his belt. As he worked at the damp ties with his calloused fingers Gau moved to stand by his side. When the boy got a good look at the disheveled man before them his crouch deepened and the set of his body tensed. Had Gau fur, Cyan would have said he was bristling. The man took a startled step back at Gau's appearance and another when an animalistic growl began to rumble in the boy's chest.

"Wha'sa matta with him?" the man barked as he put a hand on his sword's hilt.

"Sir Gau, there is no need for that!" Cyan snapped irritably. Why was this boy so hell bent on being ostracized by every person they met? Could he not see that if one acted like a monster it was as a monster they would be treated? As Cyan continued to work at the ties to the coin purse Gau's snarling deepened and Cyan's ire rose.

He turned to the crouching wild boy with eyes hard as flint. "That is enough!" he started to say. But he never got the chance to finish. Before his mouth could form the second syllable of 'enough' Gau sprang sideways, slamming the point of his shoulder into Cyan's chest and knocking the older man off balance. Cyan threw his hands out to catch himself as he fell, stunned by the raw power behind the wild boy's blow. His open coin purse hit the ground not too far away and scattered its contents throughout the filthy street. But Cyan was far too engrossed in the scene before him to care about his lost gil.

With a shriek that was more avian than mammal Gau flung himself at the disheveled man. The man cursed and screamed as he tried to draw his sword in defense. He managed it, barely, and the steel tore a gash in Gau's right forearm as the wild boy struck. It was a poor trade off for the disheveled man; Gau's blow caught him on the side of the head and sent him sprawling. Suddenly three more men who looked just as unsavory as the first emerged from the shadows with weapons drawn. Two held makeshift but wicked looking cudgels and the third brandished a curving dagger far finer than someone such as him should have been able to afford. Gau hissed at the men as the surrounded him. One struck at him with a cudgel, Gau caught the weapon and tore it from the man's hands, only to fling it into the face of the dagger wielder. There was a sickening thwack as the remaining man's cudgel crashed into Gau's back. The boy shrieked and the sound of pain set seemed to flip a switch in Cyan's head. In an instant he was on his feet, steadfastly ignoring the pain in his chest and cursing the fact that the narrow street would impede the use of his katana. He drew the blade anyway. Meanwhile Gau had whirled on his attacker and charged. Ignoring the blows the man rained on his head and shoulders Gau managed to get a grip on the taller man's shoulders and slam him hard into the wall of a nearby building. The man slumped in Gau's grip, unconscious.

Thinking Gau was distracted the dagger wielder moved to stab him between the ribs. The edge of Cyan's katana caught him at the juncture of neck and shoulder. Had he not had the fortune of wearing a shoddy armored vest the blow would have severed an artery instead of simply breaking bone. He fell with a howl. Gau turned at the noise, dropping into a crouch as he did so. Tawny eyes that glowed with an unnatural light beheld the scene as the boy screamed out a challenge that was anything but human. When the cudgel wielder he had initially disarmed started towards him Gau's fingers dug into the earth. The corded muscles on the boy's arms tensed as he _pulled_, making the earth around him ripple violently, as if he were shaking out a sheet. Cyan went to his knees and the buildings around them groaned their protests. It was a wonder none of them collapsed. Though he had seen Gau perform this particular feat before an involuntary shudder raced down Cyan's spine. Humans wielding magic was unnatural in itself, but this was even more so: this was the magic of monsters! Their opponents' reactions were far less benign. The three he could see ran like demons were nipping at their heels. Had the fourth been conscious he would have almost certainly done the same. Gau's blazing eyes watched them go and he threw back his head with a shriek. The quavering call of triumph reverberated down the narrow street at the heels of the fleeing attackers and for a moment, just a moment, Cyan had to fight the urge to follow in their footsteps.

When the echoes of that terrible sound faded away Gau rose from his crouch. Cyan watched him warily. Though the unearthly fire no longer burned in the boy's tawny eyes who was to say if some of the beast yet remained? Those eyes flicked over him, noting the white knuckled grip on his katana and nervous look before dropping away to stare at the ground. Gau hunched into himself and took a step back, whimpering.

A wave of shame broke over Cyan with a resounding crash. Gau was no beast, he was a boy! He examined his companion with new eyes and saw a filth covered bleeding child who cringed under his scrutiny like an abused dog. Quickly Cyan sheathed his blade. When he motioned for Gau to come closer the boy flinched away and Cyan's shame became tinged with anger. Not at Gau, not for this. He was angry with whomever or whatever had caused such fear in a boy who could scarcely have been more than a few years older than his own gregarious Owain. Owain . . .

Cyan forced his own grief aside. "I believe, Sir Gau, I doth owe thee my life," he said quietly, "I had no inkling there was more than one man nor didst I sense their animosity. I thank thee."

His heart lightened a touch when Gau took a cautious step forward. "Uwaoo? How you not see?" The boy's head was cocked to the side and he was starting to lose some of the beaten animal look.

When Cyan spoke he did not need to fabricate any truth for his words. "Thine senses are far superior to mine own. And, it appears, thy judgment of individuals as well."

To his amazement Gau needed no further explanation to distinguish the meaning of the words. It was simply incredible how quickly Gau was picking up the nuances of language, though he did not always put it into practice with his own speech. Even the peculiar cant of Doman rank, which Cyan alone spoke in the boy's hearing, was met with understanding rather than confusion more often than not.

Gau took a moment to choose his words before speaking. "Gau know when need fight. You know when need fight with . . . words? Words!" Gau yipped happily, obviously quite pleased at remembering the word for, well, words. Cyan couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"Indeed, I believe that sums it up quite nicely."

Gau stopped and stared at him with wide eyes before drawing his lips back in what was meant to be a smile. In truth it looked more like a tooth barring grimace, but Cyan knew the boy meant well by it. He laughed softly again. Cyan couldn't fathom just how he did it, but when Gau heard the quiet sounds of mirth he managed to stretch his grin even wider. He realized with jolt that it was his laugher that made the boy happy. Elayne had always liked it too. _You have a lovely laugh_, she told him on their wedding night. It was the first compliment she ever gave him.

A hitching gasp caught in Cyan's throat and Gau's smile abruptly disappeared. The misting drizzle deepened to a light rain that still could not hope to cleanse Zozo's filth. For a long time they stood in that dark street as the rain washed over them. Cyan took no notice of Gau's bright tawny eyes, weighing and conceptualizing and contemplating. He took no notice when the boy crouched down and set about retrieving the scattered coins from his dropped coin purse, nor when their unconscious assailant woke with a groan only to scurry away when Gau snarled in his direction. Though his fingers tightened unconsciously around the sodden leather pouch that Gau placed in his hand, Cyan took no notice of that action either. His attention was caught by the memories parading before his eyes, memories of life before the nightmare. Crossing blades with Elayne's father, his mentor and treasured friend. The king teasing him for refusing to let go of tradition. Reading a book with Elayne, one he had brought home to her from one of his trips to the outer provinces. Holding his son in his hands for the first time.

There was a crash of thunder overhead and the phantoms vanished in the searing light of the lightning strike that for a fraction of a second overwhelmed all else. Cyan blinked to clear the spots from his vision only to return to his nightmare. The city still stank, the rain fell in sheets, the buildings swayed in the wind, his home was destroyed, and his family was dead.

And there was Gau. He looked ever so small with his hair plastered flat and hide garments weighed down by the rain. Whines loud enough to be heard through the storm keened from his throat as he tugged frantically at Cyan's arm. We have to go, the boy's actions and frantic eyes said, we have to go _now._ He followed Gau's lead through the yawning doorway into the first floor of the nearest precarious structure. When they were under shelter Cyan noticed Gau was trembling. Another bolt of lightning struck almost directly overhead and Gau flinched. Quivering so hard it almost looked like he would come apart at the seams Gau crept up and pressed himself into Cyan's side. Cyan took notice of this. When the next boom of thunder and hiss of lightning came he put his arm around the trembling wild boy's shoulder and drew him in close. This was his nightmare, not the boy's. Gau should not have to be afraid.

0 0 0

_A forewarning to you all, for the next chapter I'll be having a large time skip. I could not think of a thing to write between the finding of Terra and the party's parley with the Empire before seeking out Thamasa. There is the opera, which I thought about writing something for until I re-read the dialogue in the scene post finding Terra where someone mentions that those who do not travel south should return to Narshe to continue helping with their defenses. The way I see Cyan's character he would insist on returning to Narshe, as he was already involved in the city's defensive planning. So no opera today, despite how humorous Gau is when he watches it._


	4. Safe

_Our bit of a time and scene skip has left us in Vector when Kefka has been arrested and the party asked to help the empire. I always thought that visiting Kefka in the dungeons was a little anticlimactic, so . . . enjoy!_

_ Thanks to __** .78**__ for his kind review and __**Antismurf Lord of Darkness**__ for helping me iron out the kinks and pushing me to re-write the ending portion for much greater impact. _

_ I do not own Final Fantasy VI and never will._

0 0 0

Thunder did not scare Gau. Being almost hit by lightning over and over and over and over scared him. People did not scare Gau. Being attacked with steel and fire and wood by many many people at once scared him. Machines did not scare Gau. What those machines could do when they were directed by people who used them to hurt, kill, destroy did. This place did not scare Gau, though it was filled with smoke and grinding and machines and people who wanted to cause hurt and death and murder and madness. That man did not scare Gau. Much. He was pale and thin and small under his heavy green covering and behind bars besides.

Cyan scared Gau. He never had but now he did and Gau was wishing so so hard that he had not followed him, that he had stayed and played with Sabin instead or snuck into the flying box 'Setzer who smiled a lot' took care of or followed the black dog that snapped at him or any number of things that weren't following Cyan to this place with that little mad man. Cyan's face offered no expression. He stood in the same place like he was made out of stone. He stood and he stared at the little mad man and he did nothing. But Gau could sense the bone chilling rage seething just below the surface. It was the sort of rage that made things go wild with a power greater than any found in their natural bodies. It screamed for release to rip and shred and beat and break and hurt.

If the little mad man noticed he did not care. He hopped around from one side of his barred off part of the room to the other, not even making an indication that he knew he was being watched. But Gau knew he knew. About once every skipping circuit of he made of the room the mad man's eyes flitted over in their direction for the shortest of moments. Gau hated those eyes. They were bright with something that Gau did not know how to describe, he only knew that it made him want to whimper and hide because if he didn't the man would hurt him, not from anger or fear but just because he liked to cause pain. That was how he knew the man was mad.

Abruptly the mad man stopped skipping and turned to face them. Gau cringed and hid himself behind Cyan's tense frame. Cyan might be scaring him right now with his silent fury but it was better than facing the mad man's stare.

"Well go on, _do something,_" the mad man pouted, "You're boring me."

Cyan's fists clenched. "Dost thou know me, Kefka?" he asked. The words were barely louder than a whisper but there was sharp steel behind every one.

The mad man, Kefka, looked Cyan up and down before twisting his lips into a gleeful thing that could not be a smile even though it showed his teeth and brought his lips into that bowl shaped curve. Smiles, once Cyan told Gau what they were, were not terrifying things that made you want to run like a dragon had just decided to eat you.

"No," Kefka chirped. _Yes_, said those bright horrible eyes. In spite of his fear the beginnings of a growl stirred in Gau's chest. Cyan knew this mad man and this mad man knew Cyan. That meant Cyan had a reason for his fury and that reason had to be this man.

"Doma?" Cyan asked. Gau could smell the blood in Cyan's hands where his fingernails must have pierced the palms. Doma was Cyan's home, the home that had been destroyed when everyone died. No, when everyone was _murdered._

Kefka crossed his arms over his chest and that smile that could not be a smile grew wider. "Where?"

In a blink Cyan leapt across the narrow room and reached through the bars, grabbing the mad man's thick clothing in both hands and yanking him forward. His pale forehead slammed against the metal with a muted crack and a thin line of blood began to trickle from a cut over his left eye. Everything snapped into focus for Gau then. _Kefka_. His lips drew back in a silent snarl. _Kefka the mad, Kefka the murderer. _

"Thou knowest where!" Cyan roared in the mad man's face. Gau backed himself into the furthest corner and made himself as small as possible. Inside him his instincts whirled in a frenzy of confusion. Part of him wanted to leap forward and tear the mad man to pieces for what he did to Cyan while the other wanted to run, run, run away, far away. The cold stone pressed uncomfortably into his back but Gau pushed himself harder against it anyway trying to get even the smallest fraction further away from Cyan and the mad man in his hands.

The mad man was not afraid. Held suspended in the air with his face pressed against the iron bars in the hands of a man almost twice his size and filled with a killing rage like Gau had never seen yet the mad man did not even seem concerned. He met Cyan's blazing eyes without blinking.

"You lost someone, didn't you?" Kefka's voice oozed. Cyan's teeth ground, his fists clenched tighter in the green clothing, and a whimper forced itself through Gau's snarl. "I see you have a wedding band. Was it your wife? Oooo, was it your children too?" Kefka giggled, "Were you there when they died?"

The words wrenched themselves from Cyan's throat, "Cease thy vile-"

"It's a very nasty death, isn't it?" the mad man interrupted, "Lots of twitching and screaming. How I wish I could have snuck in to watch: I'd never poisoned a whole castle before!"

Cyan screamed a wordless scream of anguish and slammed Kefka's head into the bars again. Another cut opened, larger this time, and a second stream of blood joined the first in running down that pale boney face. The mad man never flinched.

"You know," he said with his smile that could not be a smile managing to grow even wider, "At first I was _very_ put out that someone survived, especially someone as important as you. But this is _much_ better than total annihilation. Because now it gets to happen over and over again inside your head and you can't do anything about it!" The mad man threw back his head and began to shriek with laughter. Cyan screamed words that Gau did not know and slammed Kefka's body into the bars over and over while the mad man laughed. The pale face was bruising under the streams of blood and the narrow nose was twisted at an unnatural angle but Kefka's laughter did not stop. Gau could not look away. It was right and good that Kefka should die because he was wrong in all ways that something could be wrong. But still . . . the rumble of glee stuck in his throat behind a knot of horror. Why? Why was he _still_ afraid? Kefka was the cause of Cyan's hurt so it was right for Cyan to hurt him back, kill him so he would cause no more hurt. Right?

But if that was true, Gau whined, why were Cyan's screams sounding more like sobs and his rage rising higher and higher till Gau feared it would burn him to pieces from the inside out, like those doomed to die with frothing jaws and madness driving them to kill and kill and kill and kill.

The door beside Gau swung inward as a shadow slipped into the room. It crossed the floor in a fluid predatory motion to halt just behind Cyan's shuddering form.

"That is enough." The voice was frozen steel, deadly and cold and empty of all feeling. A low growl that sounded from a second shadow following in the first's wake, smaller but no less deadly Gau sensed, reiterated the words' meaning. Incredibly, Cyan stopped. His body still shook with a twisting storm of rage and pain and sorrow, but no longer was he trying to beat the mad man to death.

The shadow spoke again. "Killing won't bring them back."

Cyan turned his gaze to the ground. "I know." The words came out as a strained whisper. After a moment he flung the mad man away with a strangled sound of rage-pain-sorrow. Kefka hit the ground hard and scrabbled back out of Cyan's reach. He wasn't laughing now. In the silence that filled the small room Gau's fear slowly started to drain away. He realized the shadow was a man, dressed all in dark colors and on the smaller side as far as people went. The even smaller shadow was the same dog that nearly bit off a few of his fingers when Gau tried to make friends earlier that day.

Gau's eyes flicked from the shadow man to Cyan to the mad man behind the bars. Kefka noticed the tawny eyes focusing on him and flashed them a smile that could not be a smile that made Gau's stomach clench. Wide eyed he continued to watch as Kefka's mouth formed words that suddenly made pieces of him glow with silver light. The bent nose straightened as the cuts and bruising disappeared leaving the blood streaking his pale face as the only trace of his injuries. Suddenly Gau felt a surge of anger. He let it loose as a snarl. No! That mad thing should hurt and stay hurt forever and ever and ever and ever because that was what it did to others! It had no right to make the hurt go away, not when Cyan and Sabin and Edgar and Terra and Locke and Celes all had hurts that would not stop and made them rage or snap or turn away or cry at night when they should be asleep.

The shadow man's head turned and Gau's snarl froze in his throat. All Gau could see of his face was his eyes. All Gau needed to see was those eyes. Twin circles of empty black surrounded by a fog of ice. They looked at him and saw him but at the same time Gau knew they did not _see _him: he was nothing in those eyes. Gau shrank down till his belly touched the cold stone floor and twisted his head to the side, exposing his unguarded neck. The shadow man was strong in a way that made even Cyan look like a mewling pup. It was an unnatural strength, a strength that should not exist in a living thing, a strength that terrified Gau almost as much as the mad man's stare, but it was strength just the same. His complete submission seemed to satisfy the shadow man. Gau released his breath in a soft sigh when those empty ice fog eyes moved to focus on the mad man trying to wipe the blood from his face with the edge of his clothing.

"Leave," the shadow man commanded. Cyan took one last long look at Kefka crouching on the stone floor then turned to do as the shadow man said. A little ball of tenseness came undone in Gau's chest as he cautiously rose to follow. Leaving this place was best. Maybe if they left Kefka in this little stone and iron box where there was no sky he would rot away to nothing and be gone without Cyan hurting himself to kill him.

Kefka giggled. Cyan stopped, still as stone.

"Run far, run fast," the mad man whispered in a voice that went up and down in a curious way, "Run all you like, you'll never escape your failure!" In an instant Cyan's fury and sorrow and pain, pain, so much pain peaked. The shadow man's words meant nothing then. Fear meant nothing: it was gone, gone in a storm of rage at all that Cyan suffered because he was a good people, a nice people, a friend and that sort of hurt should only happen to bad things, to killers, to mad things. For Gau there was only the mad man. He hurt and killed and laughed at it all and he needed to die, would die, for the mad man was prey and he was the hunter and he would _KILL! _

Gau spun and flung himself at the mad man with a roar that shook the air in the made cave. Pain exploded from all parts of him as his body smashed into the hard as stone pieces separating the cave into the prey part and the hunter part. He did not care. Pain was nothing before the _need_ to rip and tear the mad prey to so many pieces, to feel the soft flesh part under his claws, the hot blood spurt under his tongue as the prey's life drained away. He bellowed and reached through to swipe at the fleeing prey's trailing green covering. He missed but the prey could not go far. It was trapped in the cave with nowhere to run, trembling and screeching sounds that held no meaning. Again he flung himself forward and again the pain bloomed over him, but with the pain there was _give _in the more solid than rock pieces. His eyes met those of the prey and he used his power. Some strange energy like fire and like his power but not left the prey in a puff of heat, but it did nothing. The prey could not tremble now, could not make sounds, could not run: it was still and frozen trapped by his power. He tore at that which separated them, threw aside the snarling dog that came for him with a bellowing roar, flung himself towards the prey, came that much closer to dragging his claws through the green the pale the red to loose the lifeblood and kill, kill, _kill!_

Strong hands fell on his shoulders and tried to pull him back. How dare it! He was the hunter and that was his prey and _nothing_ would keep him from his kill! Gau took a moment from trying to break through and spun around, viciously dragging his claws through the soft pale flesh of the one who would-

Cyan staggered back with a cry of pain as his hands released Gau's shoulders to clutch at his bleeding face. Gau cried out as well. He had only meant to hurt Kefka, not Cyan, not his friend! A smudge of shadow leapt out of the darkness and slammed into his side with a snarl. The impact of the dog's attack bore Gau to the ground where he tried his best to curl into a ball to protect himself from the flashing fangs. There was a sharp snapping sound and the dog backed off, but when Gau peered around he wished the fearsome black creature had never left.

The shadow man was approaching with measured quiet strides and he held a thin shining people claw in one hand. Gau whimpered and rolled onto his back, but this time the show of submission did nothing to divert the shadow man's attention. Those ice blue empty eyes held Gau prisoner and he knew for certain that the shadow man meant to drive that claw through his throat because he was the hunter of hunters and Gau was his prey.

"Shadow, stop! Don't . . ." Cyan's strained voice hovered just outside of the cloud of terror that had settled over Gau's mind. The shadow man stopped his advance and moved his empty ice eyes away from Gau. Gau took that moment of freedom to scramble to his feet and press himself into the bent and twisted bars of Kefka's cage, as far away from everyone as he could get. Kefka was still frozen from the power Gau had placed on him earlier and no threat, but the shadow man would kill him and the shadow dog would kill him and he had hurt Cyan who was his friend and that was bad, bad, bad and maybe Cyan would let the shadows kill him for that or hurt him in turn or, or, or . . . . Gau moaned.

"Let me, ah! Let me speak with him. Please," Gau dimly heard Cyan say. The shadow man said nothing. But he stepped away, taking a place at the stone box's wall, and called the dog to sit by his side. Slowly, with one hand still pressed to his face in an attempt to stop the flow of blood from the scratches that raked from one side to the other, Cyan took the shadow man's place. Gau shrank back.

"Gau sorry!" he wailed, "Not mean to hurt, not know was Cyan, thought, uwaoooo, thought-" He didn't think and didn't care. All there had been was the hunter and the prey and the one who would stop the natural way of things. And now Cyan was hurt because of him because he left the people part of him behind to be the hunter. The skin around the scratches was already turning an angry red and starting to swell, especially around one eye that his claws had just barely missed. Blood dripped through the fingers of the hand Cyan had pressed to his face and more blood stained the hand that reached out. Gau flinched away from that hand, fearing it would grab him and shake him and hurt him, but all it did was rest on his head and stroke through his tangled hair.

"Steady, Sir Gau," Cyan whispered in a voice that was only just not a hiss of pain, "Twas not thy fault."

Gau shook his head and tried to back even further away, despite the broken iron bars digging so deeply into the skin of his back that a few had started to punch through. "Yes, my fault! Gau hurt Cyan, you already hurt and Gau hurt you worse, Gau sorry!" For the barest of moments Gau remembered the near to madness fury that had coursed through Cyan's frame at the mad Kefka's words. That was enough to send him into a flurry of yelps. He squirmed past Cyan and darted to the opposite side of the stone box, squeezing himself into a dark corner and crouching as he tried to make himself as small as possible.

Slowly the hand pressing against Cyan face fell to his side, allowing the blood to drip freely. The tall people turned and looked straight at him with those dark hurting eyes framed by swollen bloody flesh. Gau wanted to look away, meeting a stare was a challenge and was sure to get one noticed and hurt, but he could not. The dark eyes stayed locked on his as Cyan walked across the stone box till he once more stood directly before Gau. He crouched till he and Gau could look at each other without Gau needing to raise his head.

"Gau," Cyan had to pause when his throat seemed to clench, "I will _never_ hurt thee."

Ignoring the blood staining the calloused skin of his palms a shiny red Cyan carefully reached out and placed a hand on each of Gau's shoulders. He trembled under the touch. But not from fear, no, not fear, not now, not when Cyan was looking at him with great dark eyes full of truth and a _promise_. Monsters didn't promise, only people did but people didn't have to keep a promise because a promise was only words and words were only sounds. Not this promise. An instinct as strong as the one that had just compelled him to kill told him that Cyan's words were true and would be true now and tomorrow and the next day and the next day and all the next days till there were no days anymore. _I will __**never **__hurt thee. _

A keening whine escaped Gau's throat. Cyan read the question in the sound's desperate tone and repeated his promise. When those words were finished the hands on Gau's shoulders started up a gentle pressure to which he yielded immediately and found himself drawn up against the heavy furless hide and metal cover that fell over Cyan's torso. With a cry like a lost pup finding their pack Gau pressed his face into the tall people's chest. Cyan's blood was on the furless hide and more dripped down from the scratches on his face but Gau did not care. It could have been moments it could have been days before hurried foot falls on the stone outside announced Sabin and his brother Edgar's coming, the pair bursting through the door and letting out startled shouts upon seeing the bars nearly bent to pieces and Cyan's face a bloody ruin. A shadow sent them, Gau thought he heard them say, are you two alright, what happened. In his stone box Kefka started to twitch as the power ran its course. Twas an accident, Cyan said back, tis a scratch, settle down. All that was unimportant to Gau in the shadow of Cyan's promise. Cyan would never hurt him. He whimpered and rubbed his face against the bloodstained furless hide covering. He did not have to be afraid.

0 0 0

_For those of you who are interested I am using the abilities of actual rages Gau can enter while in game as well as trying to match a logical assumption of each monster's mannerisms and physical strengths to the rage's special powers. The last chapter was a litwor chicken and this one was a mugbear. I know you cannot actually obtain these ranges at this point in the game but I figure that in this particular case what makes sense in game does not make sense in world and thus have ignored that restriction._


	5. Nightmare

_Ifrit's Hellfire, I've got a real thing for flashbacks. Much of this chapter comes from a half planned idea I had of writing a story specifically about Cyan's backstory. Not a whole lot of Gau in this one, but I plan on making up for that in the next one. _

_ My thanks go out to .78 and Valkyrie Celes for their kind reviews. And, as always, much credit for this thing being readable goes to Antismurf Lord of Darkness and his top notch beta reading skills!_

_ I do not own Final Fantasy VI_

_0 0 0_

For a brief moment a sickening swell of fear overshadowed all else as Cyan fell through the empty air. Then he hit the _Blackjack's_ deck hard enough to buckle his knees, forcing him to throw his hands forward to catch his fall. On one side Sabin did the same and the other Shadow and his dog landed much more lightly on their feet. Another wave of unnatural magical power raced out from the epicenter of destruction and set the ship to rocking. Cyan's stomach roiled. The nausea was almost bad enough to make him forget . . . almost . . . He staggered for the doorway that lead to the interior of the massive airship, reaching it just as the monstrosity's engines started to roar.

_We failed._

Above them the floating mass of earth groaned like a living thing as it fell away under the onslaught of increasingly powerful pulses of magic. Cyan wrenched the door open and rushed inside. The narrow walls of the hallway leading to the heart of the gambler's flying casino lent Cyan no sense of security this time, though it was still better than being out in the open air.

_**I**__ failed._

Kefka had been right there and Cyan could do nothing. He had been frozen by foul magic, as they all had been, only able to watch in horror as the madman beat the emperor into a bleeding helpless heap, then tried to throw Celes to her death. Had Shadow not chosen that moment to return to them, Kefka almost assuredly would have flung them all from the lip of the floating continent, laughing as he did. And when he was free of the paralyzing spell, while Shadow did his best to undo what Kefka had wrought when he pushed the Warring Triad out of alignment, when vengeance for Doma, for his family, was a sprint and a swing of his katana away . . . he ran.

He nearly stumbled headlong into Edgar as the frantic young king dashed down the narrow hallway. The young man pushed by, but paused a moment.

"Engines failing," Edgar gasped, "Need help, Gau's there, he'll tell you- Sabin!" The young king started off down the pitching hallway once more, screaming for his brother. Cyan stared after him for a moment. Always machines had confused him, even the trains whose tracks stretched over the whole of Doma. This monstrosity and its infinitely more complex engines were so much worse. He didn't understand and he hated it and he wanted more than he could bear to wake up from this nightmare and be home with Elayne and Owain and his king and his friends and all that made him who he was.

With drunken lurching steps Cyan made his way towards the engine room. Following Edgar's orders gave him something to do, something to occupy his mind with that was not reflecting on how he had run like the lowest of cowards. Even now . . . Cyan drew in a ragged gulp of air . . . even now he was . . . the hammering of his racing heart drowned out all else. The ship lurched, Cyan fell to his knees, something from the engine room screeched with the ear splitting sound of metal on metal. There was magic everywhere. Sparks popped into existences on every surface, his breath misted in the frost filled air, the very walls were warping under the assault, it was wrong, so wrong, it shouldn't exist, couldn't, a dream, a nightmare, a nightmare, his purgatory, his hell, his nightmare, wake up, had to, had to, wake up, please, please, please, wakeup, nightmare, please, can't, please-

"Elaine," he tried to gasp, "Owain." His chest felt like it was in a vice, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't suck in enough air. The airship twisted violently and he was thrown across the room. Any pain there might have been when Cyan hit the frame of the engine room's door with a terrific crash of metal armor on hard wood did not register. But something did. A scream. A human's scream. A boy's scream.

He couldn't breathe but he could stand and he did, throwing himself at the engine room's door and forcing the melting metal handle to yield with a hand that did not register it was being burned. The room was filled with steam and red hot metal parts that melded together and warped even as they blazed with fire lit movement. Blisters rose and popped on Cyan's face and hands but he didn't feel them, didn't scream for the pain because he could not, could not breathe in this nightmare. Gau did. The howls that tore from his throat were just as much pain as they were terror. On the opposite side of the room he flung himself at the wall separating him from the outside world as if to tear a hole in the thick wood and steel. The heat was too much, Cyan thought, Gau is trapped and cannot reach the door. Better to fall than to burn to death.

Just as Cyan lifted his leg to take a step towards the frantic boy the airship twisted like a toy in the hands of a vindictive child. With deafening shriek the front of the ship ripped away from the back half and then they were falling.

Cyan found his voice and screamed. Then there was a sound like thunder as the red hot engines exploded into a hellish inferno, a sharp pain on side of his head . . . then blessed oblivion.

0 0 0

_ Sparks flew as the two katanas clashed together. Live steel those blades were, sharp enough to split a hair laid across them, forged in such a way that they would not break or bend. Their wielders drew back then came together, again and again in a deadly dance. To one who did not know it seemed as though the pair were intent on causing the other harm. For truth, if a single blow miss-struck or weak parry would leave one of the warriors sorely wounded. But that was not the pair's intent. These two were the finest swordsmen in Doma, and each was the only partner the other trusted enough to spar with battle ready weapons. Metal clanged and sparks skittered across the arena but neither man slowed. Suddenly the older stepped back and drew the hilt of his sword to his chest, pointing the tip towards the open sky._

_ "I yield!" he shouted. Cyan immediately stopped his assault. For a moment he studied his friend and mentor, whose heaving chest and almost imperceptible trembling in his arms belayed his exhaustion. A feeling of pride bloomed in him at the sight: after years of being soundly beaten in every match each victory over his more experienced partner was a sweet one. Finally he stepped forward and clapped his companion on the shoulder. _

_ "Thou hast not allowed a full fight in near a fortnight! Mayhaps thou art feeling thy age, Sir Kay?" he teased. _

_ Kay grinned wryly as he ran a hand through his sweat damp grey hair. "Tis not my age, you wretch! I simply hath too much pride to allow thee to best me in truth more than once!" _

0 0 0

Wind whistled. He was falling ... falling. His body hurt. His head hurt. His heart hurt. Above him some creature let out a whistling shriek. When he hit the surface of the water his mind only registered this development as a sudden surge of pain before shutting down once more.

0 0 0

_Cyan wrung his hands beneath the table, as if that would alleviate the uncomfortable embarrassment of the situation. Sir Kay was in a chair by his side and across the expanse of polished red wood sat their king. This conversation had been one King Uther had brought up quite a few times in the last couple of months, but Cyan continually put off resolving the issue presented. Now his king had decided to change tactics. _

_ The younger man turned to him with a far too innocent to be truthful smile. "I trust you have thought upon the issue I presented to you several times previously, Sir Cyan? It is a pressing one to be sure, and one that requires an immediate solution." His king was what most called a progressive. While he respected most traditions of Doma there were some, like speaking in the cant of Doman rank, which he regarded as archaic and did not follow himself, nor did he expect his people to do the same. Most minded little, though Cyan did cringe at the thought of King Uther's children carrying on this legacy of leniency. If that was the case Doma might be as wanton as Figaro in a few generations!_

_ Surely as the king wished, his words struck a chord with Sir Kay. The older man turned to Cyan with a reproachful scowl. "And what issue is this? If tis one of urgency why hast thou not consulted me?"_

_ Before Cyan could speak the king interjected. He spoke his words with a faint smile playing on the corner of his lips. "Sir Kay, I am sure you are aware that Cyan is approaching the thirty-fifth year of his life and has yet to provide an heir to succeed him as Retainer to the King. Has yet to even find a wife." _

_ The older warrior blinked. Of course he knew, but as Cyan and King Uther suspected he had simply not processed the implications of this fact. While their king crossed his arms over his chest and regarded his retainer with a satisfied smirk Cyan tried to mutter an explanation of duty getting in the way of such things. _

_ Kay cut him off with a curt bark. "Tis no issue at all. My daughter, Elayne, is a fine young woman and as yet unmarried. Thou and she will make a fine match. So long as she consents, of course."_

_ "A-art thou cetain?" Cyan stammered. He was dumbstruck by his friend's offer. Elayne and her younger brother, Gawain, were Kay's pride and joy! The girl was a pretty thing of eighteen or twenty years who took after her late mother. Kay's distain for any man who showed an interest in her was close to legendary and yet- It was then that Cyan noticed the king's knowing smirk. The clever man, he'd had this all planned from the start!_

_ Kay smiled broadly and clapped a hand on Cyan's shoulder. "As certain as one could hope to be! There is no other I would desire more as a match for my daughter and a new son for myself! Why didst I not think of this before?"_

0 0 0

It was cool and dark under the water. It flowed around his body in a churning turmoil that soothed his burns even as it flung him this way and that. Around him and through him the water flowed, into his nose and mouth, down to his lungs and stomach. Darker and darker the water became. Darker . . . darker . . .

0 0 0

_For the hundredth time this week he felt a bumbling fool when he startled his young wife yet again by doing nothing more than entering his, no, their apartments. Cyan remembered Elayne had always been a shy woman and he had never been terribly outgoing himself: neither one had quite adjusted to her being plucked from her everyday routine and dropped squarely in the middle of his. She, at least, tried to reach out to her new husband with kind words and actions. But no matter how much he wished to do the same, Cyan could not seem to force himself past the awkward embarrassment thoughts of such domestics caused. He was not unkind, he thought, but neither did he go out of his way to turn their formal marital relationship into something more personal._

_ This behavior had been understandable the first week of their marriage, disconcerting their first month, and decidedly uncomfortable the second. After two months of marriage shouldn't they have become at least marginally more comfortable around each other? He was living with a woman he didn't know as anything more than his friend's daughter and she with a man she knew only as her father's friend. Two acquaintances joined by relationships to a mutual other, not husband and wife. He could not say what her favorite season was, never mind what he could do to make her happy! _

_ Elayne's soft voice brought Cyan's focus back to the present moment. "I apologize, my lord, I will have dinner started in a moment." She had been reading when he walked in, surprising her enough to drop the book. He hadn't known she liked to read. When she picked up the leather bound volume before he could discern the title he was disappointed. _

_ "Tis nothing," Cyan mumbled while trying his best to pick out the title of her book without looking as though he was doing so. Elayne ignored him and set her book down before heading towards his, their, small kitchen. While Elayne worked Cyan walked to the table she had set her book upon. It was a large volume, one from the castle library, bound in dark leather. He opened the book to its title page. __**Tales of Sir Arthur the Just**__ it read. A romance then. He had never been one for romances, his tastes ran towards histories instead. Even so, after a quick glance to see if Elayne was watching him, he started to flip through the thick slightly yellowed pages with their flowing text and elaborate illustrations. He paused at one where the titular knight offered a rose to a beautiful woman. _

_ It is winter, he told himself, there are no roses now. Winter it certainly was, and a fierce one at that. The snow outside was already up to his knees and piled even higher in drifts against Doma Castle's walls where the wind had blown it. There would be no roses or any other flowers growing for months yet. _

_ So quietly that he was not sure his wife heard Cyan excused himself. If he hurried he could catch the castle's lead seamstress before the woman went home for the night. _

0 0 0

Something was pulling him, up, up, forcing his head above the water. But it couldn't hold on and he slipped under again. It was better under the water. Darker, cooler, quieter . . .

0 0 0

_ The constant clatter of the train's wheels on the tracks was a welcome distraction from his churning stomach. Between focusing on the sound of metal on metal below and the feel of the thick parchment crumpling between his fingers Cyan could almost pretend he didn't feel sick at all. That was a delusion, as his wane and faintly green looking reflection and the wary faces of the under officers with whom he shared the passenger car showed quite clearly. He had always been particularly susceptible to motion sickness and much preferred to travel by foot or chocobo when the option presented itself, even if that meant arriving days or even weeks later. Elayne never minded when he came home later than the rest of his men when King Uther sent him out. Always when he got home she would be waiting for him with a ready embrace and one of the silk flowers he had sent pinned to the collar of her dress. Sometimes she wore the first flower he'd made for her, a drooping disproportionate red rose, in her hair. His skill at crafting the flowers had grown but Elayne refused to replace that first one, the one he had quietly left tucked between the pages of __**Tales of Sir Arthur the Just**__ one evening nearly three years past. _

_ Elayne. His fist clenched even tighter around the letter. The words were almost certainly unreadable now, but he had committed them to memory days ago. King Uther says you may come home to us early, it said in Kay's hurried looking looping scrawl, Your son certainly did. He had chartered passage on the next train home that very night. His survey of West Doma's military bases was to have taken him two weeks, plenty of time, the midwives said, for him to return before Elayne gave birth. But if Kay's letter was any indication..._

_ The train rocked and Cyan had to cover his mouth with one hand. The under officers shrank back, though one was courteous enough to ask if there was anything that could be done. Cyan shook his head, carefully so as not to disturb the bile rising in his throat any more than necessary. Thankfully he could see the walls of Doma Castle and the large square building outside them that served as the train station. It would not be long now. _

_ When the train finally stopped Cyan only just managed to stagger out in time to lose the battle with his roiling stomach on the dirt next to the tracks rather than over one of the unfortunate under officers' boots. He straightened and gratefully accepted the canteen of water the platform operator offered. When his mouth no longer tasted of vomit Cyan gave the canteen back with some quick words of thanks, then strode off so rapidly towards the castle's inner keep that he was just short of breaking into a run._

_ He met Kay first. The older man had been speaking with the guards at the front gate when Cyan approached, and by the wide grin on his face he could tell that Kay being there was no accident. They fell in step together, with Kay's long legs easily matching Cyan's pace. _

_ "How doth Elayne fare?" _

_ Kay laughed. "And not a word of greeting for thine old friend? Elayne is well."_

_ "And," Cyan paused. It was so strange to say this. Elayne had been pregnant for nine months, one would think he would have become accustomed to the idea! "The child?" Our child?_

_ "A son!" Kay clapped him on the back, "And a stronger boy I hath n'er seen! With luck he shall take after his grandfather rather than thee." The older man's grin split his craggy face from ear to ear. It was quite clear that he had become rather enamored of his new role as grandfather. The man's enthusiasm was enough that even Cyan found himself able to manage a small smile. Together they strode through the castle to Cyan and Elayne's apartments. Outside the thick oak door Cyan suddenly stopped. The sound of an infant crying behind it could be heard clear as a bell. The hand that had been stretching towards the door's handle paused to hover inches above the dark iron._

_ Kay reached past him and knocked his fist loudly on the stained oak. Cyan turned to glare at the older man, but Kay dismissed him with a short laugh. _

_ "Come in!" Elayne's voice rose over the child's cries. My child, Cyan thought, my son. Our son. When he made no attempt to move Kay shouldered past and let himself in. Elayne and her father embraced, Kay being careful not to crush the squalling bundle held in his daughter's arms as they did so. It took a few moments before Elayne realized that her father was not alone. _

_ When she caught sight of him her exhaustion lined face lit up like a star. "Cyan!" Without a word Kay lifted the baby from her arms, leaving Elayne free to rush towards him. Cyan met her halfway across the room, enveloping her in a tight hug as she did the same to him. Kay had not lied, Elayne was well, as was their son! A sudden surge of elation rushed though him and Cyan found himself laughing as he lifted his wife off the ground and pivoted his feet to spin them in a tight circle in the center of the room. At first Elayne squeaked in surprise, but by the end of the motion she was laughing as giddily as he. After setting her down Cyan bent forward till his forehead touched hers. _

_ "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I had wanted to be here for thee."_

_ Elayne's eyes sparkled. "There is nothing to forgive, but I will forgive you anyway. Otherwise you won't stop apologizing!" _

_ A loud guffaw sounded from outside Cyan's line of sight and he sprang back from Elayne like a spooked chocobo. In the rush of the moment he had quite forgotten that they were not alone. It was not fit for a warrior like himself to put on such displays of emotion! Even though it was only Sir Kay, who Cyan knew would never spread word of such things, it was not proper. The hurt in Elayne's eyes was hard to bear, but Cyan steeled himself. She knew as well as he the behavior expected of a warrior in his station._

_ Kay beckoned him over with a grin. "Daughter, bring thy wretch of a husband here and introduce him to his son." Cyan's expression abruptly softened. When Elayne placed their son in his arms he could not have cared any less about a proper warrior's manner. All that mattered to him in the world was the howling dark haired child in his arms and the smiling woman standing by his side._

0 0 0

Over and over he was torn from the quiet under the waves into a world of chaos and fire. But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Not this sting of the salt, not the crushing pain in his chest, not the bellows of defiance torn from a monster's throat that choked off every time the beast took in a mouthful of water.

0 0 0

_It had been a busy day of meetings with the king regarding strained relations with the Southern Continent and fitting time in between to spar with Owain, so Cyan was exceptionally grateful for the quiet of the evening. Owain had gone to bed some time ago and Elayne was straightening up the kitchen, so he was left alone in their sitting room. He wanted to take full advantage of the peace. Taking the book he had borrowed from the castle library a week past, a history of Doma's ancient conflict with a long since overthrown kingdom that once controlled the area around Narshe, Cyan settled down in his armchair and began to read. So engrossed was he in the record of one of the battles that he did not notice when Elayne entered the room till she spoke._

_ "My dear ..."_

_ He looked up at his wife and smiled, nodding to let her now he was listening. She wrung her hands together and stared pointedly at the floor. Cyan's smile slowly disappeared. Something was wrong. Had he done something to upset her? Did she have some ill news? Was she-_

_ "Do you love me?"_

_ Before Cyan realized what he was doing he had already leapt from the chair in surprise, the book falling to the floor with a thud. Did he-? How could she ask such a thing? He was the Retainer to the King, a warrior of Doma! Duty, honor, and loyalty were his to bear, all else should fall to the wayside before them! _

_ "What art thou asking me!?" he barked, "A warrior does not speak of such things!"_

_ Elayne said nothing. But her eyes wrenched away from his and her shoulders fell, conveying the disappointment she felt far better than any words could. She blinked rapidly and Cyan had to turn away so he did not see the tears fall. This was unspeakable! Thirteen years they had been married. Close to a quarter of his life and a little less than half of hers. In all those years never __**once**__ had the question of love crossed his mind. They were not like the couples in Elayne's romances, where the heroes married their lady loves after performing great deeds. Duty was the reason for their marriage, duty and a meddling king. Love was a thing of stories, certainly not something for a warrior to concern himself with. _

_ Yet ... Elayne wanted him to love her. Did he? From the very beginning he had tried to be a dutiful husband. It had been hard at first to share his life with this stranger who was only a little more than half his age at the time. Being married was never unpleasant by any means, but uncomfortable and quite awkward at times. For himself and her. Exactly when things began to change Cyan could not say. Perhaps it was when he gave her that first silk rose. Or when she found that book written in old Doman and innocently asked if he could read to her what turned out to be an infamous erotic Doman epic! Upon the realization their faces had both turned so red that they could have been mistaken for hot coals! She had become such an integral part of his life that Cyan could not imagine how he had lived without her. Then Owain was born and things changed again. This time it was easy to bring another person into their life: by then it was no longer his life, it was their life. Rather than move to larger rooms they began to share his bed and replaced Elayne's with a crib for Owain. Owain grew so quickly: he had Cyan's dark hair, Elaine's bright eyes, and, to Kay's delight, his grandfather's wide smile. He was so proud of his son, who wanted to do everything possible to be just like him. Training with Owain had become a permanent part of Cyan's routine, and already his son was more skilled than boys years older. Owain and Elayne, Cyan thought, they aren't just a part of my life. They __**are**__ my life._

_ "I … love thee," he whispered. _

_ Slowly he turned and met her damp eyes with his own. She stared back at him silently, looking as though she could not believe what she had heard. Three long strides took him across the room, close enough to put his hands on Elayne's shoulders and draw her close._

_ "I love thee more than anything," he murmured into her hair. Elayne trembled against his chest and slowly wrapped her arms around him. Dimly Cyan heard a rustle from the occupied bed in the adjacent room, but it meant nothing to him at that moment. _

_ "And I thee," Elayne said so softly he only just caught the words, "I love thee, my dear." Cyan's heart pounded thunderously. He knew she loved him, he realized. It was in every action, every word, every smile. But to hear it said was something new and strange and wonderful. Cyan did not trust himself to speak, so he placed a soft kiss on the top of Elayne's head. _

_ When Owain emerged from his bed with a delighted shout Cyan and Elayne both stepped away from each other in shock. "I heard that!" their son crowed delightedly, "I love the, I love thee! Dad loves Mom!" _

_ Cyan could feel his cheeks burning behind his moustache as he averted his gaze from their bouncing son. Warriors should not speak of such things, what sort of example was this display for Owain? But Owain did not care about that. He was just happy. _

_ "Owain, this was a private conversation and it was extremely rude of you to interrupt!" Elayne scolded. Cyan could tell that she was loathe to let their intimate moment be taken away so quickly. But Owain only grinned wider._

_ "I heard what Dad said to Mom!" he chirped. The way Owain's eyes sparkled with delight at this revelation made up Cyan's mind for good. Propriety could go drown in the gods damned river! Putting one arm around a startled Elayne's shoulders he beckoned their son with the other. Owain wasted no time in scampering over and throwing himself into the embrace._

_ Duty and honor were an inescapable part of him that would never die, but in that moment he knew that the love he felt for his wife and child was just as powerful as those two guiding principles. It too was a part of him. He looked first into Elayne's bright eyes, then into the sparkling eyes of his son, and smiled. He wouldn't have it any other way._

0 0 0

_In these dark of the ocean the nightmare swirled around him. There was death and chaos, powers that should not exist and raging beasts with the faces of children. He was alone . . . alone . . . alone . . ._

0 0 0

Cyan woke with a strangled shout and sat bolt upright, unintentionally throwing the blankets from his torso as he did so. In the distance he could hear the whistle of a train. His chest rose and fell in heaving gasps as he tried to calm his racing heart. He had been drowning as the world ended in a blaze of magic that he had been unable to stop. A shudder wracked his sweat drenched body as the memories flashed before his eyes.

Under the tangle of blankets to his right something stirred.

"My dear? What is wrong?"

Cyan forced himself to take a deep breath while Elayne extricated herself from the tangled sheets. When her worried eyes took in his obvious distress she frowned. Before answering Cyan wrapped his arms around her and drew his wife to his still heaving chest. In his dream she was dead, she and Owain both. All of Doma Castle was dead, killed by the same mad man who brought about the end of the world. He had been nothing, a man with no home, no purpose, a ronin, an empty shell. He had consorted with thieves, murderers, traitors, and beasts. His only purpose in life was vengeance, but when the chance to take it was at hand he faltered. Cyan shuddered.

"T'was a nightmare," he told Elayne. The train whistled again, sounding much closer this time. It was likely a cargo train bringing in supplies to the castle. "A horrific nightmare. I . . . I would rather not speak of it."

Again the train whistled. It must be nearly at the station now. Cyan heard Owain shift and yawn in his bed on the opposite side of their bedchamber. Perhaps the king would allow him to take a personal day to spend with his family. There was nothing urgent on his schedule, other than potentially overseeing the unloading of the cargo from the train. It whistled again, louder, so loud it was almost a scream.

_**Thud**_

Cyan felt as though a heavy weight had slammed down on his chest. He jerked sharply, causing Elayne to ask once more if he was alright. _**The whistle screamed.**_

_**Thud**_

_ Their bedchamber blurred around him as a fog descended over Cyan's vision. Elayne's face was still clear though, and her concerned words even clearer still._

_"Cyan, my dear, please, what is wrong?"_

_**Thud! Scream.**_

"Elayne!"

_**Thud! Scream. Thud!**_

_ "Dad?" _

_**Thud! Thud!**_

"Owain!" _His son's face entered his field of vision just a Elayne's began to fade. _"No,"_ he whispered, "_Please . . . please . . ."

_**THUD! **_

A flood of water poured from Cyan's lips. A foggy shape looming above him brought down its fists in a terrific blow that expelled even more liquid from his lungs even as it cracked bones. Weakly Cyan sputtered and coughed, almost blacking out from the intense pain radiating through his chest. The thing above him yelped and backed away, allowing Cyan to roll onto his side to better let his airways drain. It almost killed him. His ribs were broken and his lungs burned, his skin blistered and rubbed raw in places. Forcing his eyes to focus Cyan could see the sky was full of oily black clouds shot through with streaks of crimson lightning stretched from horizon to horizon. Beneath him the earth shook as though being torn apart. The end of the world.

There was no nightmare, there never had been. Elayne and Owain were dead, Doma was destroyed, and the world was ended. But he lived. He ... lived ... Cyan sucked in a sobbing breath that was cut short by his broken ribs. Slowly he drew his knees towards his chest and did his best to wrap his arms around them, heedless of Gau's whimpering garbled questions.

He could never wake up.

_0 0 0_

_ Soul crushing despair or unbearably sickly sweetness. I've really got to work on writing a middle ground, don't I? I do hope that I'm not going overboard with Cyan's character. Here my hope was to provide a glimpse into exactly what he lost when Kefka poisoned Doma. Several times earlier in the story Cyan mentions that this is a nightmare and all he wants to do is wake up. He knew this was no dream, but at the same time he could not bear to give up hope that it was. Now that he was woken from a dream of the reality he so desperately wanted to be true into his nightmare reality that hope is gone._

_ Also, a little side note. That infamous erotic Doman epic? __Bushido in the Bedroom__, of course. Or __Book of Secrets__ for those who have not played the GBA version._


	6. Friends

_ As promised, this chapter contains much more of Gau! Forgive me for the massive time skip that happens part way through, but I figure that Gau's journey to the Veldt and his time spent there till the party finds him again are pretty self explanatory and didn't need too much extra detail. _

_ My thanks go out to Waging Wonder, Valkyrie Celes, and .78 for their kind reviews. And, of course, to my awesome beta reader Antismurf Lord of Darkness._

_ I do not own Final Fantasy VI and never will. _

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The dark of the narrow paths between houses made the forever night worse. They trapped the stink of death and sickness that made the inside of Gau's nose itch so the wind couldn't take it away. Outside the walls the world tore itself apart in roars of fire and earth and storm and light that made Gau want to run to where he was safe but there was no safe anymore. Monsters were outside the walls dying and killing and changing into hunters stronger than Gau had ever seen. Inside the walls people did the same.

He hadn't wanted to come here. He wanted to go home. Home and rage and so so so much fear made him keep swimming after he fell from the flying box. It hurt to move and to breathe and when he saw Cyan sink under the black water it hurt to grab him and drag him and lose him and find him over and over till they reached land. Then Cyan didn't breathe and Gau thought he was dead. Howling and hitting he made the water come out of Cyan's mouth and nose. He lived. But he did not move, did not speak, did not even seem to know Gau was there. He wanted to die and that hurt Gau most of all.

Gau did not want to be alone anymore.

He tried to use the magic that Terra and Celes and Relm who wasn't afraid and Strago who was always worried did sometimes and it worked a little. When Cyan still wouldn't get up Gau carried him or dragged him, and hated it because he knew it made Cyan's hurts even worse. But he couldn't leave Cyan to die. He smelled the town and went towards it. People could help. They had to help.

They tried. Some of them. They let him in, took Cyan to someone who could clean his dirt covered wounds and cool the terrifying burning that had started in his veins. Gau stayed. He watched and he waited and Cyan didn't die. The people taking care of them did. When she did not come back one day Gau went looking. He found her torn to pieces by people claws in the dark between two houses. When he got back there were people in the house ripping it apart. They did not see or did not care about Cyan laid out under blankets in the corner. Maybe they thought he was dead. Maybe he was.

The first one died with Gau's teeth in his throat. The second with his belly torn open and insides ripped out. The third and fourth ran, but Gau ran faster. He left one dead and one dying in a pool of sticky red hot blood wider than he was tall. Cyan was not dead. He was awake and watching when Gau dragged the corpses of the people outside and brought in dirt to cover the blood on the floor. People didn't come to the house after that.

Gau pounced on the rat and broke its neck with one sharp blow. It was a big rat, big enough to share. He brought it back to the house and held it so Cyan could see. Cyan was sitting up. Earlier he had stood and walked to look out the hole in the wall that had been filled with clear stone before a rock smashed it to pieces days and days ago. Gau knew he saw him and knew that he knew that Gau had hunted food. But just like the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that, Cyan only stared. Gau took the people claw he had found on a dead people and used it to cut away the pieces of the rat Cyan would not eat, the fur, claws, tail, head, and soft insides. Cyan had shown him how to do that before they found the city that always rained. Cyan showed him how to make the meat hot and good, to, to, _cook_, was the word, the meat. For that he needed fire, but there was always fire in the town and all Gau had to do was steal a piece to bring inside whenever the other pieces went out. He put the meat in the fire till the outside was black then placed the still hot meat in Cyan's lap.

Gau sank down on his haunches and waited. Cyan looked at the meat, then at him with deep dark sad sad eyes. Without a word he took the meat off his legs and offered it to Gau instead. Gau growled and shook his head, pointedly turning away. Less and less Cyan ate. His skin was already stretched tight over his bones, like Gau's, like every people in this place, but worse. He was sick and hurting and if he did not eat he would die! Gau heard the thump of the meat hitting the ground.

It was not right. Cyan was the leader, he was the strong one! Even a pack of two was still a pack and a pack needed its leader. Why didn't Cyan know this? Gau snarled, angry now, and whirled back to stare hard into Cyan's eyes. Cyan did nothing.

"Why?" Gau growled. He hadn't said words for a long time and it felt strange. "You no eat. You no talk. You want die. Gau want know why!" He was shouting now. If he put all the rage and pain and fear and why into his words would Cyan know how much _he _hurt? Cyan stared at him for a long time. Then he lay down under his blanket and turned his back to Gau.

Rage rose in him, and sadness, and hurt, and need to lean against Cyan's strong body to feel safe but Cyan was lying on the ground and he was not strong anymore. Part of it was the mad man's fault part of it was Cyan's fault and Gau did not know which one he hated more.

Outside the house was bad too, but outside he could hunt and kill, so he did. A rat and a dying bird. He ate them like he always had, with fur and bones and feathers and blood. The bird had a thing with people words around one leg so he saved that. When he went back to the house he put it on the ground by Cyan's head. He would not look at it, Gau knew, he never looked at the little treasures Gau found him. But Gau did it anyway.

He wanted to go home. Pack was home. Cyan was his pack. But Cyan was going to die. If pack was gone then home was a hole in the rock where once a long time ago he kept his shiny shiny treasure.

"Gau go," he said, "Go to Veldt," that was the name people gave his home, "Get strong." If he was strong he could be leader. If he was strong his pack did not have to be. If he was strong he could, the anger, hurt, and pain rose so high his eyes saw blood, he could kill the one who killed his pack.

Cyan stirred. He rolled to his side and put a hand under his head so he could look up at Gau with those dark empty eyes. But they weren't empty now. There was something there, something Gau did not know. His lips twitched and for a moment Gau thought he would speak.

Gau turned and ran. He had to go. He had to get strong. Through the town he ran then outside, over the broken ground, towards where he knew his home would be. Before the fires of the town were too far away to see Gau stopped. He watched the orange glow under the dark and red sky. He wanted to go back. Maybe Cyan would eat if he went back. Maybe he would talk, maybe he would smile. Maybe they could go home together. Gau threw back his head and howled.

No. He had to get strong. If he did not then there would be no one to do what he should have done, no one to kill the mad man who brought death to him, to Cyan, to Celes, to Sabin, to Edgar, to Relm, to Leo the kind, to everyone and everything in the whole world. Gau had been afraid to jump onto the flying land where the mad man had been. He had been too weak to kill the mad man in the stone box. Now his pack was gone and the world was dying. He let his rage, his pain, his grief, his _everything_ flow into his howl. He hoped the mad man heard and was afraid.

He hoped Cyan heard and knew.

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The beast came at him with gaping jaws and teeth as long as his hand. Gau roared back and darted to the side of the monster's lunge, dragging claws over its shoulder as it passed. It spun faster than he could react and slammed a huge paw across his chest. The hard packed earth drove the breath from his body when Gau hit it hard. Again the beast came on and again Gau rose to meet it. This time he was ready and threw his whole body at the side of the monster's head, so hard that it stumbled and went down. Gau tore at the sensitive flesh under the colored fur till the blood ran thick into the creature's eyes until it shook him off and almost managed to gore him with a horn, but Gau was too quick. While it was blind Gau made his move, snatching up the body of the smaller monster they had been fighting over and running as fast as he had ever run before. When the monster he had been fighting could see again, Gau was gone.

Later Gau lounged by the choked and dying thing that had once been a river with what remained of his prize. His stomach was taunt, there was enough meat left to last another few days, and the sun felt oh so good on his skin. Better than that was the taste of the big monster's blood as he licked it from his fingers. Back before he would have run far far away if he had so much as smelled one of them. Now he was stronger. He could fight them and steal their kill, which was winning as surely as killing them was.

He was as good as he could be while being alone. There was a pack that came to see him, the same pack that taught him to hunt and let him play with them before, but they were not his pack anymore. He was a people and they were not, they could never be his pack.

It made Gau sad to think about his pack, his people pack, because his pack was dead now. So he didn't. Instead he dug a hole in the dirt for his meat and covered it so nothing could take it. Then he loped up a small ridge and decided which part of his place he would walk today. He was strong enough to have a _place_ now! A place that was all his that nothing else that had a place could come in. Even the pack that visited had to wait outside his place for him to let them in. If they didn't he would fight them and he would win!

He walked till the light in the red sky was at its brightest. Then he turned to go home. It was cold and the wind blew to make things colder when the sky was black at night, he liked to be in his home before that happened. He was almost there when he heard the people voices. Gau was on all fours in an instant, letting the tall dry grass cover him. The sun beat down on his back while he waited and listened.

Six people walked over the hill, one small and bright, two tall and broad, and three more in between. Gau's eyes widened and his heart beat faster. Dead things stayed dead. But what if they didn't? He didn't see his pack die, he only knew that they died, maybe he was wrong? A whimper rose in his throat. Nothing alone could be truly strong. And he was so, so alone ...

"I think this is it, but it's hard to be sure. There used to be a river."

Gau trembled. _You're a regular little munchkin, huh?_ He knew that voice! It was tired and rough and the mouth it came from was hidden by a thick brush of hair but it was the same voice! His eyes widened and the whimpers came with every breath now. He knew these people! Every one! That was Sabin and Cyan and Edgar and Celes and Relm and Setzer! Not dead, they were not dead and he wasn't alone anymore!

"Uwaoo!" he bayed as he sprang from hiding towards his pack, his friends. They all shouted loud and jumped high and Relm almost hit him with a ball of fire but Gau didn't care! "Uwaoo, aooh!" This was better than meat, better than being strong, better than the best thing that could ever be!

"I'm Gau! Gau your friend! Gau your friend!" Friend was pack, friend was people pack but different but Gau couldn't remember the difference and didn't care! "Frieeend!" he howled with all the happiness bursting out of him into the word. He finally stopped and looked at his friends. "I join you again!"

"You certainly will!" Sabin boomed. His face split apart in a wide smile under the new hair as he waved his fists in front of his face. "Come here you little munchkin!" Gau yelped with glee and leapt towards the big people. They punched and hit and leapt around each other like they had so long ago. When they stopped Sabin was panting and wheezing and Gau could hardly breathe he was so happy. Relm came for him next, throwing her arms around him and squeezing him so tight that he whined and wiggled to get free. When he did there was Edgar patting his head. Celes whose eyes were always sad looked a little less so. She said something that Gau didn't hear because Relm was telling him a story on one side and Sabin another story on the other. Setzer didn't come close, but he did smile and offered a few of the shiny round pieces that people always found so important to Edgar.

Cyan didn't come close either. His eyes were just as dark and just as sad and he looked and smelled as sick as before. Gau felt his stomach clench when he looked at the tall dark haired people who had been his first friend. He left him. Cyan was sick and hurting and dying and Gau left him. He was going to die but then he didn't and now Gau was so so so so so sorry for running away! He squirmed away from Sabin and Relm and approached Cyan hesitantly.

When they were almost close enough to touch Gau whimpered, crouching and twisting his head to expose the side of his throat.

"Cyan ... you angry ... me?"

"Are you kidding me?!" The unexpected shout rang loud across the rolling hills. Gau yelped and sprang away from the noise, scrambling till he had tucked himself as tight as he could against Cyan's back. The older people flinched when Gau pressed against him, but didn't pull away. Cautiously, Gau poked his head around to look at the source of the words.

Relm was staring him down with her hands on her hips. Edgar tried to grab her, but she twisted away and stalked towards them. "From what I hear it's you, Gau, who has every right to be angry, not Cyan! And you!" She pointed a finger straight between Cyan's eyes. "If the next words out of your mouth aren't 'I'm sorry for being stupid and letting you go off alone, Gau' you can bet your life that your picture is the next one I paint!"

"That is enough, Relm!" Celes snapped. She succeeded where Edgar had not and grasped Relm tightly by one shoulder. "If you can't be civil you're just going to have to go back to the airship. Setzer!"

"Why am I relegated to babysitter?" Setzer grumbled. But when Celes shot him a look that said she was leader and he was not and if he didn't respect her bad things would happen, he stepped forward and took charge of the now snarling and spitting Relm. While Setzer dragged her away Sabin snorted and shook his head.

"Kid's got some kind of abandonment issue, I think. So spill it Gau, what have you been up to since the end of the world?"

It had been a long time since Gau had used so many words and at first he didn't think any of his friends understood. But the more he talked the more came back to him and soon Celes, Edgar, and most of all Sabin asked him questions and told him stories of their own. Cyan was the only one who said nothing. Once Gau whimpered when he remembered that Cyan didn't answer his question, but Cyan was walking a little way behind and wasn't close enough to ask again. They talked and walked and soon they were inside Setzer's flying box, airship, but not the one from before.

Setzer and Relm were inside too and they both looked angry. Gau quickly positioned himself so that Cyan was between him and them. Why? Gau was strong, much stronger than he had been the last time he saw his friends. Maybe he was even stronger than Cyan. And even if he was not, Celes was leader now, not Cyan, it was Celes' job to protect now.

When Relm saw him her angry face turned into a smile. Gau blinked and made a curious sound in his throat. Relm was confusing. She had made his head hurt trying to understand her before and she was making his head hurt trying to understand her now. She skipped to a soft sitting place and sat, patting the open spot next to her.

"Come on, Gau! We've got a whole year to talk about!"

He cocked his head to the side. "Uwaoo?" Was Relm not angry anymore?

"Go on," a quiet voice said. Gau looked up. Cyan was looking at him. With the smallest of motions the dark haired people inclined his head towards Relm and the soft sitting place. "Relm holds no malice towards thee."

"Yeah," in a flash Relm's face and voice were angry again, as angry as she had been outside, "I won't leave you alone to die!"

Those words were meant to hurt and they did. Gau could see it in the way Cyan's body cringed in on itself, away from Relm, away from her words. Those words were not true, Cyan should fight them! But Cyan did not want to fight anymore. Things that did not want to fight died.

Unless someone fought for them.

Relm opened her mouth to speak more words and the rage rose in Gau's chest. Moving quickly, he placed himself between Cyan and Relm. When Relm still didn't stop her words Gau drowned them out with a snarl. He locked eyes with her and barred his teeth. She sucked in a sharp breath and pressed herself as far back against the soft sitting place as she could. It was good she was afraid! He was the strong one, not her and Cyan was his friend, his pack! Gau would _not_ let him be hurt!

A heavy hand fell on Gau's shoulder and just as Gau was about to swing towards it he remembered the stone box. Shivering faintly, he forced himself to stay still. He breathed deep, in and out, in and out. The hand did not let go.

"Cyan not leave Gau," he growled. It was hard to speak when he wanted so so much to bite and kick and scratch but he did it. "Gau leave Cyan! You angry, be angry Gau! Not Cyan."

Relm stared at him with wide eyes and her mouth open, but with no words coming out. He narrowed his eyes and she pressed herself a little further back. Fingers dug into the muscles of his shoulder.

"Say sorry!" he barked.

Suddenly Relm did not look so afraid anymore. She jumped out of the sitting place and took a step forward. "I'm sorry, Cyan. But you shouldn't have lied to us! Or twisted the truth or omitted details or whatever you want to call it that made us think that you just decided to let Gau go on his merry way all alone while the world was still on fire!" Gau growled a little and a hand came to rest on his other shoulder too. Now Relm was looking at him. "Okay, I said sorry. Now it's your turn!"

She was right. It was wrong for him to leave, even if Cyan had wanted to die. Cyan was Gau's pack, Gau's friend, and he should have stayed.

"Sweetheart, I think it's best you leave this matter well enough alone." Gau's head shot up. In his focus on who would hurt his friend he had not noticed that everyone had come close. His eyes flitted between them. Edgar had said those words. Edgar who was standing tall and had one hand tight around his strange noise maker that made eyes cross and heads feel like mud. Celes' hands were coated in frost from holding back magic, Setzer ruffled a stack of small sharp things that Gau had seen cut flesh like claws, and even Sabin had tight fists and looked ready to pounce. They were all looking at him.

They thought he was going to hurt Relm. Gau cringed and whimpered and tried his best to be small while the hands on his shoulders gripped tight enough to keep him standing. He didn't mean to hurt, just to scare, but he might have and that was bad because even though she hurt Cyan Relm was his friend too. Would she still be? Were Celes and Setzer and Edgar and Sabin still his friends? He didn't mean it, he really really didn't!

"I would thank thee all to stand down," Cyan's voice rumbled from just behind him, "Thou art frightening Sir Gau." Now everyone was looking at Cyan. They seemed surprised. Why? Did Cyan not talk to them like he had not talked to Gau when he was sick and sad and hurt?

"Now." Cyan's voice was low and deep and full of threat. He did not sound like something weak and dying, he sounded like a _leader_. Everyone's eyes went wide as they lowered hands and moved back. They were afraid but Gau was not because Cyan promised he would never hurt him. Gau moved his shoulders and Cyan let go, allowing him to shift back till he and the older people stood side by side. Gau leaned into Cyan's tall solid body that was still too too thin and Cyan did not move away.

"Uwaoo, Gau sorry," he whimpered, "Sorry, sorry, sorry." There was more he wanted to say, but he didn't know the words. He was sorry for leaving Cyan when Cyan needed a friend, a pack. He was sorry, but he had been so angry that Cyan was going to die when he did not have to, that Cyan wanted to die and leave him all alone. He left to get strong so he could be alone and now he was, but he still wasn't strong enough and he didn't want to be alone. But he was strong enough to fight for Cyan if Cyan did not want to and that is what he would do because that is what he should have done before when the world was burning and Cyan wanted to die.

Gau looked up at Cyan's sad sad face. Cyan did not smile. Gau was not sure if he could. But he looked back at Gau with eyes that were not empty. "All is forgiven."

A short distance away Setzer jabbed Sabin in the ribs with an elbow. But just as he opened his mouth to speak Relm cut him off.

"Setzer, don't you dare ruin this moment with a stupid bet!"

The silver haired people shook his head and rolled his eyes before turning to enter one of the narrow passages leading to other parts of the airship. One by one the rest of his friends followed, everyone but Cyan and Relm stepping away to places behind doors or down narrow passages. Then Relm bounced forward, stopping an arm's length away before poking Gau in the middle of his chest with one narrow finger. Gau cocked his head stared at her curiously.

"Uwaoo?"

She flashed him her bright white teeth. "I knew you weren't going to eat me! Stupid adults thinking they're all that. You just startled me a little when your eyes got all glowy, that's all. Does that happen every time you imitate a monster? It's pretty cool! I wish my eyes did that when I used magic, that would be awesome!"

Relm was talking very fast and with a very wide smile and Gau couldn't quite understand why. Just before she had been trying as hard as she could to get away from his threats and now she acted like nothing was wrong? He blew air hard through his nose to make a huffing sound. People were so confusing and Relm was the most confusing of them all!

A big hand moved to press between Gau's shoulder blades, prompting him to take a step towards the brightly colored people.

"Why dost thou not converse with Lady Relm?" Cyan said, "She hath expressed great interest in hearing from thee."

"Yeah, come on!" Relm chirped as she grabbed his hand and started to pull him towards the largest of the soft sitting places. Gau followed warily. He sat when she did. She smiled. He whined. She made the same noise, then smiled even wider when he jumped in surprise. What was he supposed to do? Maybe Cyan would tell him? But when he looked at the tall people all he got was a bob of the head.

Relm turned her head too and watched as Cyan's actions as closely as Gau did. She made an annoyed sound and gestured towards a soft sitting place not too far away. "Are you just going to stand there like a weirdo or are you going to sit and join us?"

"If thou wishes," Cyan said slowly.

"If I didn't, would I say something?" Relm snorted, "Right Gau? Cyan, being the only intelligent adult on this whole bloody airship, is perfectly welcome to stick around and chat with us awesome people! Not that he's one for much chatting."

Gau shook his head and blinked slowly. Relm talked so fast! He only caught a few of her words, his name among them, and knew the meaning of less! He made a questioning noise in his throat. Now Relm was looking at him strangely, like she was confused about why he was confused.

"Lady Relm," Cyan said as he lowered himself into the soft sitting place Relm had pointed to, "Sir Gau hath not as firm a grasp of language as thou and I. Thou needst speak more slowly."

Relm's eyes lit up with understanding. "Oh, that makes sense! Sorry, Gau."

From then on Relm spoke more slowly. She tried to, at least, Gau thought. He could certainly understand her words better this way and was able to answer the questions she asked with only a little help. Part way through his story about the new litter of pups the pack had brought by in their last visit Sabin and Edgar came back. Gau was nervous, but all they wanted to do was say sorry for scaring him. They stayed and listened and talked and Gau was happy because they were happy and Relm was happy and Cyan wasn't happy but he was here. Celes came later and did the same. Setzer came to say they would fly soon and left, but he smiled at Gau and said something that Relm told him was a "jerkish roundabout apology that she ought to fry the idiot up with a little lightning for being so inconsiderate" and Cyan said was Setzer's way of saying he was sorry. Whatever it was, Gau was content. He was where he was supposed to be. With pack. Friends. He wasn't alone anymore.

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_ Now I'm . . . stuck, actually. I __**think**__ the meeting with Gau's father is next on the agenda. Then I haven't the foggiest. I'll need to look up the dialogue from when Cyan encounters the woman he wrote letters to, maybe that scene has some potential. Maybe run back over Sketchpads to see if that will give me some ideas for other chapters. I know what the last three chapters are going to be, I just need to figure out the best way to get there! Any suggestions are welcome!_


	7. A Danger to All

_ Took me long enough, right? I had some trouble with this chapter and am still not one hundred percent pleased with the result. I've just got to go and make the lovely world and characters the original creators gave us more complex, don't I?_

_ My thanks go out to __**Valkyrie Celes**__, __**Anatherin, **__and __** .78**__ for their kind and helpful reviews! As always, much credit must be given to __**Antismurf Lord of Darkness**__ for making this story able to be understood by people who are not me._

_ I do not own Final Fantasy VI._

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Cyan made no secret of the fact that he was far from emotionally stable to his friends and they, bless them, seemed to understand. They did not push or prod, even when he knew they had read the letter on the stone that served as his desk and the tale he told made it seem as though he blithely let a friend, little more than a child, travel a road so dangerous that none should have been able to survive it. None of them questioned or accused: Except for Relm. Relm had not taken well to his decision and used every opportunity to be generally rude, disrespectful, and insulting. Cyan accepted it all in silence: it was no more than he deserved. He _should_ have convinced Gau to stay. He _should_ have pushed aside his own weakness and followed the boy. He _should_ have realized that starving himself and waiting to die would fix nothing and drive the only person he had in his living nightmare to leave him out of frustration. But he had not and for a long time the poor boy's fate had been yet another guilt weighing on his soul.

It had been nearly a year past when Gau left the dying town. At first Cyan had entertained thoughts of following the fleeing wild boy. But when simply walking down the street was too difficult to manage without collapsing he gave up that plan, and Gau, up for lost. A young woman holding a fluttering white pigeon saw him fall and ran to his aide, losing her bird in the process. She helped him back inside, told him her name was Lola, and said to stay safe before leaving to go about her business. The rolled up letter flecked with dried blood that Gau left by his head before leaving was hers. He recalled the gambler halfheartedly complaining about how Locke had wasted his time and the Blackjack's precious engine power delivering love notes from a pining girl in Maranda to her dying boyfriend halfway across the world when they really should have been getting on with something more useful. Cyan gently folded the letter and placed it in his pocket. Then he retrieved the cold rat carcass that was burned black on the outside and raw on the inside and set about trying to find some way to make it edible.

In three weeks he found precisely no ways to cook rat so that it was palatable. Though Gau was gone, his fearsome reputation kept the townsfolk away from the rapidly deteriorating house Cyan used for shelter. Cyan could watch them through the broken windows without fear. Though . . . he wasn't sure he was capable of feeling fear anymore. He noticed Lola sending letters with surprising regularity. And receiving none in return. When Cyan finally thought himself strong enough to leave he had passed her on his way out of town, tying yet another rolled piece of paper that looked like it might have been torn from a book to the leg of a thin grey pigeon.

He had no destination in mind when he set off, but was unsurprised when his wanderings led him to Zozo. It seemed fitting that he end up in a place populated by reprobates who had nothing and cared for less. Curiosity led him up the tower where the esper Ramuh had watched over Terra whilst she was in her afflicted state, then up even further, through a crevasse in the mountain wall accessible with a short leap from the building's roof. The caves went even higher, till finally he came out on the mountain's peak. Any beauty there might have been in the view was marred by the blighted ruin of the world that stretched in all directions. Still, Cyan stayed. The fierce monsters that inhabited the cave made sure no one disturbed him. Several times the great bears tried to maul him as well: it served as practice to keep his swordsmanship sharp. Cyan steadfastly avoided the dragon and the dragon seemed keen enough on doing the same to him.

A week after he took up residence in the mountain cave another unnatural storm swept across the land. It left canyons of destruction in its wake and for some hours Cyan had thought the mountain was going to collapse around him. But it did not and when Cyan walked up to the mountain peak the next day he found a bird. It had been so battered by the storm that it did not resist when Cyan picked it up and disentangled the sodden paper from its leg. The letter was almost unreadable, but Cyan only needed to pick out a few words to know exactly who it had come from and to whom it was intended. When the bird recovered Cyan released it with a letter of his own tied to the creature's leg.

There was nothing he could do now, as there was nothing he could do then, about the destruction of everything that gave his life meaning. But he could do something for others. When not writing his letters Cyan wandered Zozo, trading what he could for parchment, silk, and wire that was clearly stolen and foodstuffs that were rotten or stale more often than not. Sometimes thieves asked him to guard their backs as they made the two day journey to Jidoor and back through the monster infested plains. The strength returned to his body as he spent days sifting through rubble for suitable lumber to fix what buildings could be fixed. Anything that could be done for anyone, he was there to do it. The people of Zozo were too suspicious to be friendly, but they accepted his aide just the same. Day in and day out Cyan did the only thing he could bring himself to do: protect. That, at least, did not change when his companions convinced him to join them in their hopeless quest.

Now here he was, with Sabin, Edgar, Celes, and Setzer who had convinced him to join them in their quest for justice, or for vengeance, or for the need to do something, anything at all. With Relm, whose joyful cries and enthusiastic hugs after they had found her in Jidoor had turned to insults and glares then back to perky friendliness. With _Gau_, who by all right should have been dead but wasn't, and who appeared to think no less of him, despite his transgressions. He deserved none of this . . .

The twisting caves that had been Gau's home were a maze of dimly lit tunnels, but the wild boy made his way through them expertly. Relm, the headstrong child, was not with them. She had crawled through a crevasse too small for them to follow after a dog she claimed was Interceptor, the surely long dead assassin's beast. As they traveled Cyan noticed Gau becoming increasingly distressed. His nose twitched like a dog's and his movements became more and more frantic the further into the caves he led them. When he broke into a run Cyan and the others were quick to follow. Several twists of the cave later they rounded a corner into a larger cavern: just in time to see the white furred behemoth send Relm's tiny body flying with one sharp smack of its paw.

Cyan did not falter. While his companions slid to ungraceful halts to better examine the situation he leaned forward and charged. In five strides his shield was up and the chipped use worn katana with a cracked leather wrapped hilt was in his hand. The beast had noticed his approach by then. It reared to its full height to bellow loud enough to bring a shower of earth down on their heads from the cave roof. The creature was easily the largest behemoth Cyan had ever seen. The curving horns twice the length of his sword and a maw large enough to easily engulf a grown man's torso should have caused some stir of fear in Cyan's gut. But just as it had been since the end of the world, Cyan felt nothing but a calm acceptance. His death, if it were to come, was of no matter.

A snarl sounded from Cyan's left scarcely a moment before a flash of tan and brown shot past. Gau's eyes blazed like twin points of white flame as he raced towards the behemoth. The monster dropped to all fours before letting loose a blood thickening stream of frozen magic from its wide open jaws, reminiscent of a spell Cyan had seen Celes cast. Shards of ice sharp as daggers slashed over the unprotected points of his and Gau's bodies, drawing blood wherever they touched. A shard narrowly missed his right eye and the resulting slash sent a wave of blood flowing over it to obscure his vision. But that was little consequence. Cyan would have had to be blind to miss such a large target. The monster's spell broke just as Cyan's katana drove into the side of its head. At the same time the beast shied away from the blow Gau hit it hard in the flank. Rearing up in surprise the monster slammed its head into the ceiling of the cave with a loud crack of stone on horn. Again and again Cyan slashed at the pale underbelly while Gau worried the monster's hind legs. With a roar that was almost a scream the behemoth lunged forward. One of its enormous paws grazed Cyan's shoulder on its way down and sent him spinning away, stumbling hard and going down on one knee. In the moment it took to orient himself the beast was on him. With a quick swing of its head the behemoth caught Cyan between its horns and tossed him into the air. Before he hit the ground a storm of red hot stones surrounded Cyan and hammered him on all sides.

Things could have been worse. Though his armor bent, his flesh bruised, and one unlucky stone hit his sword hand in just the right spot forcing him to drop his blade, the creature could have ignored him and gone after Relm. Barely armored and unconscious, a localized spell like this could have had a stone cracking her skull and more. That was the purpose of this attack: to distract the beast long enough so his companions could get to Relm. He hit the ground back first and for a long moment could only lay still, groaning as the pain from his injuries pulsed through him. There were roars and shouting, but Cyan could not bring himself to move. Edgar's crossbow chattered wildly, the air turned blazing hot and ice cold in turns, a strange acrid smell Cyan had learned to attribute to the blitz technique Sabin called _Aura Canon_ filled the cave, and Gau's snarls rose and fell in tandem with the behemoth's. As he lay struggling to breathe a silvery light settled over him and Cyan shuddered as the _Cure _eased away the worst of the pain. When it was done he found he felt well enough to sit up. Upon doing so he caught Celes' concerned gaze. She and Setzer were standing over the still downed Relm while Sabin and Edgar stood a short ways away peppering the behemoth with bolts of holy energy and metal. Gau stood even closer to the beast. The boy was no longer attacking. Instead he faced the snarling creature full on with his chest expanded to capacity and shoulders squared. Had he been covered in fur it would have been bristling. Gau growled, an almost possessive sound, and through posturing alone made it expressively clear that the behemoth was _not_ to come closer, _not_ to attack, that these were _his_ friends, and _bad_ things would happen if the monster dared approach. Incredibly, the monster did not move. It roared and ice magic flowed over the boy and the Figaro twins, but the trio did not back down and the beast came no closer. Finally a blast of holy energy caught it full in the face. That was too much for the battered creature. It swayed a moment before crumpling to a heap on the floor of the cave and exhaling one final death rattle.

Cyan placed a hand on the stone to assist in levering himself to his feet and was surprised when it touched a puddle of something sticky and warm. He looked down. Blood. A lot of blood. That was strange, Cyan was relatively sure that the wounds he had sustained should not have warranted quite this much bleeding. A closer examination revealed that a divot in the stone had collected the liquid from another source. The thin red stream led up a short incline, away from Cyan's place on the ground.

Pushing himself up with a groan, Cyan followed the crimson trail. Around the downed behemoth it led him, away from Celes and the others as they used a combination of magic and field medicine to stabilize little Relm. Gau caught sight of him as he rounded the rise of the behemoth's shoulder and bounded after him with a yelp. The wild boy was at his side in seconds.

"You hurt?" Gau asked.

Cyan shook his head. "Tis naught." The boy snorted and barred his teeth briefly as if to refute the statement, but Cyan ignored him. Instead he motioned to the blood staining the stone. That caught Gau's interest and, for the briefest of moments, Cyan thought he saw a flash of pale fire in his tawny eyes. Together they followed the trail to its end: a pair of dark mounds that glistened faintly with wetness. The smaller of the two shadowed lumps raised an angular head and lay its ears back against its skull before letting out a pitiful whine.

Interceptor? He had thought Relm half a fool when she followed the black dog down the narrow passageway. She was convinced that it was Shadow's dog, Shadow who had died in the Blackjack's explosion as surely as . . . as surely as . . . Sabin, Edgar, Celes, Setzer, and Relm. A closer look revealed the larger mound to be a man, small, wire thin and wire strong. His back was laid open to the bone: a wonder whatever had injured him hadn't severed his spine between his shoulder blades. Most of the blood appeared to be his. Whining in tandem with the dog, Gau tentatively put a hand at the edge of that horrendous wound. The boy's eyes widened.

"He live!"

Impossible. Cyan thought. Not with a wound like this. Not with that amount of blood loss. But he knelt by the dead man's side, opposite the whining dog, and placed a finger on the left side of his throat, just under the ear, pressing hard so as to get a reading through the tight fabric of a full body suit and mask that left only a thin strip of the man's face bare to reveal his unseeing glassy ice fogged eyes and curious blue tinted skin. _Shadow!_ Under his finger Cyan felt the barest flutter of a pulse.

"Gods," Cyan whispered, "Sabin! SABIN!" No, that was not right, Sabin could not- "CELES!"

Shadow may have been alive now, but much longer and the man would surely bleed to death! If there were to have any chance at getting the assassin out of these caves his wounds would, at the very least, need to be closed. The only way to do such a thing in time would have to be with magic. He hated to admit that fact, hated himself for doing so, but that hatred seemed a petty thing when faced with the potential death of, if not quite a friend, a kindred spirit. He had had enough of death to last a thousand lifetimes. Cyan rose with a lurch, as did Gau, both intent on rushing to their companions and dragging one or both of the competent healers remaining to Shadow's side.

Their only warning was a flash of blazing red eyes at the edge of their vision as the white furred behemoth with quarrels ringing its neck like a collar and half its face burned away fell upon them. Faster than Cyan believed possible the monster lunged for Gau and clamped its great jaws firmly around the boy's chest. The wicked curving teeth pierced the boy's hide garments as easily as if they had been made of parchment, digging deep into his flesh as Gau writhed and screamed. The tips of the wild boy's fingers on the hand that was not pinned by the monster's teeth seemed to grow claws as he used it to desperately gouge at the half ruined face of the beast.

In such a situation as this there was no time for thought. In an instant Cyan let his body and mind slip into a state of being that was as familiar to him as the faces of his wife and child. He, the enemy, his blade, and his shield, as shoddy as the last two were, were one. As fluid as a river's flow Cyan slid through the dark and dank of the cave to engage the monster. It saw him, slashing with one paw before lunging to gore him with its horns. Cyan stepped around the first, used his shield to deflect the second. The already strained wood splintered under the pressure so he released it to fall to the ground as he spun and hammered the side of the monster's head with a strike powerful enough to slice a hand sized chip from the base of its horn where the blade connected. Drawing back Cyan spun, turning his half retreat into another blow this time centering the bulk of the strike's power at the focal point of the monster's jaw. Bone splintered and snapped, the behemoth's jaw went slack, and Gau tumbled away. Again Cyan's blade struck, and again; first at the enormous white furred chest and second to bash across the monster's ruined muzzle as it swung towards him as if to bite. He retreated in earnest them, dancing and weaving around the monster's frantic attacks. Those he could he parried, those he could not he accepted and moved with the energy of the blows, allowing the behemoth to bat him this way and that, with no strike connecting hard enough to cause significant damage.

The blood streaked blur that was Gau shot past just as Cyan was about to step aside from the behemoth's slamming paw. Surprised by the boy who was so suddenly in his path Cyan flinched back. The behemoth's paw connected with his left shoulder and for a moment he was blinded by a flash of agony. But though the blow sent him sprawling, the behemoth could not follow through to finish him off. Gau was on it, spitting and screeching while his claw tipped fingers tore into the ruined face, the neck, anywhere he could reach while balanced on the beast's wide shoulders. The monster bellowed and reared up to its full height, as if trying to scrape the wild thing off using the cave roof. But tall as it was the monster still came up several feet short of the stone overhead. While Gau commanded the behemoth's attention Cyan forced himself to his feet. His left arm hung useless by his side sending out bolts of pain with every heartbeat, but his sword arm was still strong. It took several deep breaths longer than it should have to slip back into the state of oneness. In the space of those breaths Gau leapt off the monster's back to attack one hind leg. When it spun to crush the feral child it met Cyan's katana instead. At the edge of his consciousness Cyan heard his companions shouting, but he could spare not thought to decipher the words. It took every thread of concentration he had to focus on ignoring the pain in his shoulder, engaging in the behemoth's deadly dance, and avoid Gau's furious assault. The boy was not targeting him, no. If he had Cyan was certain he would be dead as many times over as the behemoth should have been. But neither did he seem to acknowledge Cyan's presence. Over, around, and under the monster Gau darted, many of those movements cutting off Cyan's own advances or retreats and several times even getting into the path of his katana's swing.

Cyan's presence was doing Gau no favors either. As the behemoth's attacks grew more intense he and Gau's movements necessarily became more dramatic. More than once they tripped over each other or unintentionally pushed the other into the monster's path. How either of them avoided being gored or gutted Cyan had no idea. Once Gau accidentally slammed into his injured shoulder so hard that Cyan's knees buckled and he could not help crying out. Not long later his heart almost stopped from terror when Gau darted into the path of his katana swinging in a slashing sideways strike at the behemoth's side. A sharp twist of his wrist turned the blade so that he hit Gau with the flat rather than the edge. Gau howled at the pain of the blow regardless and Cyan had to grit his teeth against his own discomfort. Turning the blade had not lessened for the force of the strike and the unnatural position of his hand upon impact had almost certainly resulted in a strained wrist.

The behemoth turned toward the sound of Gau's cry and charged. Cyan swung to one side while Gau, thankfully, went toward the other. When the wild boy sprang at the monster's throat Cyan tried to bring his katana into the proper position for a charge of his own. The blade faltered and twisted in his grip as his wrist sent a rush of pain up his arm. It was nothing compared to the agony of his left shoulder, but it was enough to tell Cyan that any further sword work on his part would be next to useless.

Where were their companions? He looked around sharply, only then coming to the realization that he and Gau had been fighting the beast entirely on their own. Setzer stood over Relm with a sharp tipped dart in one hand and three more held in the other. Celes was bent over Shadow, her hands glowing bright silver. She looked up every few seconds at the behemoth and Gau, as if desperately wanting to join the fight, but each time returned to her work with the assassin. Their absence was understandable, but Sabin and Edgar's- Cyan felt a rising swell of anger in his chest. The twins looked on as well, Sabin with fists clenched in his spiked gloves and Edgar with a white knuckled grip on one of his curious devices, Cyan was not sure which. Could they not see that Gau was fighting this monster alone now? Had they not seen how sorely outmatched he and Gau had been before? As he watched and seethed, Edgar raised the device as if to take aim: upon closer inspection Cyan thought it was the noisemaker that could sometimes confuse monsters with torturously loud blasts of sound. But he did not fire. Instead the blonde man lowered the devise and shook his head. Beside him Sabin's fists began to glow red, as if he was holding live embers between his fingers. The fire like energy went out, only to appear again seconds later.

Cyan limped toward the twins, the anger writhing like snakes in his gut. Edgar saw him first and the helpless look in the man's blue eyes did nothing to deter his fury.

"Help him," Cyan snarled.

Edgar flinched away in surprise. Cyan himself almost paused in wonderment: this rage was the purest, cleanest emotion he had felt since before the world's end. But thinking on that would do nothing to save Gau from the behemoth's wrath. The boy screamed as a horn dragged along his ribs, but screamed even louder when he latched on to the monster's back and began to once again tear away at the beast.

"Help him!" he repeated, harsher than before.

"We can't," Sabin spat through teeth clenched as tightly as his fists.

Before Cyan could speak Edgar cut him off. "If I send out a blast it might confuse the monster but it _will_ stun Gau. If that beast shakes it off it will tear Gau to shreds."

"We've been hollering at you two to get away since that thing messed up your shoulder," Sabin continued as soon as his brother stopped.

"If we attacked at range we were as likely to hit you as we were to hit the behemoth," Edgar finished.

"Thou hast sword and fists." Cyan did not need to shout these words to make his meaning known to the brothers. The pair were far better close combat fighters than they were ranged combatants, there was no excuse for their abandonment of Gau in his time of need! Sabin barred his teeth in an angry grimace, he, it seemed, at least felt some shame at his inaction. But Edgar's face was a blank mask. The smaller brother kept his concentration fixed on Gau's desperate struggle with the behemoth. He darted and leapt this way and that as the monster swatted with its massive paws trying to catch and disembowel the wild boy.

When Edgar spoke his voice was calm, almost emotionless.

"Like this, Gau is as likely to come after us as he is the behemoth. We don't want to die."

Cyan wanted to tear the sword from the sheath at Edgar's waist and throw it at the young king's feet. He would not yell, but his words would cut through a coward like the sharpest of knives: thou hast no right to thy blade, leave it for better men than thee. He had spoken those words five times in his life to men too afraid to defend Doma as they had been trained and too weak to overcome that fear. It was a dismissal of service, one of the most shameful a man could bring upon himself. Most of the men he never saw again and those he did would never meet his eyes. Craven weaklings, Edgar and Sabin both!

But just as he was reaching out his hand to grasp the hilt of Edgar's blade Gau let out a quavering shriek of pain. The long fight was starting to wear on Gau's massive reserve stamina and, just once, he was a fraction of a second too slow. The monster pierced Gau through the meat of his thigh with one horn and lifted him into the air. With a shake of its head Gau went flying, trailing an arc of bright blood through the air behind him.

_BOOM!_ In the span of a moment Edgar lifted his noisemaker up and pulled the trigger. Cyan's ears rang and his very bones seemed to vibrate as the sound echoed wildly off the cave's walls. The behemoth had taken a direct hit, but the beast barely flinched. Before the air had finished vibrating Sabin let out a bellowing shout and charged forward. The young man's fists burst into flame as he ran and before the behemoth could fully turn to face this new threat the monk was upon him. Sabin's assault was nearly as wild as Gau's had been, but the flames surrounding his hands caused the attack to be far more effective. A sudden crash of metal to his right caused Cyan to turn his head quickly, in time to see Edgar draw his sword and leap over the machine he had dropped to join his brother. Cyan's vision swam as another pulse of pain flared out from his wounded shoulder. He fought it back, forcing himself to remain conscious. It would not do to collapse now, not when Gau was bleeding out halfway across the cave.

The wild boy looked far less feral by the time Cyan reached his side. Gau was panting heavily and the burning light in his eyes had been replaced by a glaze of pain. Vainly Gau tried to press his hands over the gash in his thigh as it spurted blood. This was very, very bad! Cyan dropped to his knees and fumbled at his sword belt one handed. All the pressure in the world would not close a wound like that before Gau bled to death, the boy's only chance would be a tourniquet cutting off the blood flow to his leg.

_Or magic_. A soft voice whispered in Cyan's head as he managed to undo his belt and jerk it free. The battered katana in its equally battered sheath came loose after a few hard shakes, leaving Cyan with the leather strap alone.

"Sir Gau, take this." He forced the leather under Gau's red stained fingers. In the background he could hear the crackle of burning flesh and the howls of the Figaro twins, but Cyan had far more pressing concerns on his mind. "Wrap it around thy leg, above the wound. Higher. Yes, just so. Now thread the end through that loop and pull tight, as tight as thou canst manage." Gau did as he instructed, crying out softly all the while. The boy knew exactly how dangerous a wound like this was, of that Cyan had no doubt.

"Hurt," Gau whimpered. He looked at Cyan with wide scared eyes that held not a trace of rage.

"I canst imagine," Cyan replied. He laid his hand over the still bleeding gash and pressed down as hard as his injured wrist would allow. There was a long list of things he would give up at this moment if only he had use of his left hand in order to tear some sort of makeshift bandage from his or the boy's tattered clothing. But they would both have to make do with this arrangement for now, until one of their party members could close the gap more securely. Surely Celes at least knew how to stitch closed a wound!

Gau's tawny eyes flickered towards the behemoth. Cyan's followed. The monster appeared to be on the cusp of falling, again. If the gods were with them it would stay dead this time. Gau's lips drew back in a weak snarl.

"Calm thyself," Cyan rumbled. The boy quailed a little, which caused Cyan's gut to twist in guilt, but he did stop his growling. The gash on his leg was far from Gau's only injury. Every inch of him was spattered with blood, his own, the behemoths, and likely some of it Cyan's. There were shallow scrapes over his ribs where the hide garments were torn to shreds and more than a few areas of skin would certainly be blooming into purple and black bruises in a few hours. The older warrior knew that none of these bruises would be more vibrant than the span of the boy's back where his katana had slammed just under Gau's shoulder blades.

Gau looked back down at his injured leg, or more accurately, at the blood seeping through Cyan's fingers as he pressed down on the wound. He whimpered and Cyan prompted him to pull the tourniquet tighter. After doing so Gau moved his tawny eyes up. They widened as he noticed Cyan's injuries for the first time.

"You hurt," he stated. Cyan nodded.

"Not as grievously as thou."

Gau averted his eyes and hunched in on himself. "Monster hurt you? Gau . . . hurt you?"

"Twas accidental," Cyan said gently. He did not want to lie and certainly did not want the poor child to blame himself for whatever he did whilst in his afflicted state. But still Gau shrank away with a shame filled whine. "Verily, Sir Gau, thou shouldst not blame thyself. Tis a-" he paused, "tis a . . ." Queer affliction? Battle rage? What was it that Gau fell into when under stress? The state of oneness that was key to performing the advanced bushido techniques passed down through the generations of Doman warriors was an altered mental state of perfect control of one's body and awareness of one's surroundings, could what Gau experienced be a variation of such a thing? Cyan's own friend and mentor, Sir Kay had been known in extremely fell straights to fall into so deep a state that friend and foe became one and the man was nigh unstoppable: far closer to the mind of a berserker than the controlled quasi trance they were trained to achieve. Perhaps Gau's rages were something of the same, only the boy's entrance into such were far more readily triggered and the techniques used whilst under the affliction were those he had grown up with, those of monsters, rather than more formal fighting techniques as were taught to the warriors of Doma.

"Tis not under thy control," Cyan finally finished. Gau looked up at him briefly, but turned away just as fast. His words had done nothing to assuage the boy's guilt.

The floor shook as the great behemoth collapsed for a second time. Edgar's sword was buried in the base of its neck and the flesh of its right shoulder was engulfed in flames. The twins converged for a moment to exchange a few words before separating, Sabin staying by the monster's corpse and Edgar trotting towards Cyan and Gau's position. While Sabin called out to Celes and Setzer, asking if the pair could spare a bit of magic to set the rest of the bethmoth aflame Edgar reached Cyan's side and dropped to his knees beside him.

"Hey, Gau," the engineer king said with a smile. Gau unfolded a bit from his almost fetal cringe. The boy was noticeably paler than he had been several minutes before.

"Uwaoo?"

"That was some pretty fierce fighting you did there," Edgar continued. Cyan noted Edgar's blue eyes sweeping over Gau's sorely wounded body, taking in the extent of the damage. The younger man pushed Cyan's hand away and quickly covered the gaping hole in Gau's thigh with his own palm. With two uninjured arms the man should be able to exert far more pressure on the injury than Cyan could, hopefully stemming the bleeding long enough for one of the more experienced members of the party to assist.

"This will hurt, but not for very long" Edgar spoke soothingly to Gau. Cyan brought his eyebrows together in confusion and was about to ask the man what he meant before Edgar started up a halting chant. Moments later the hand covering Gau's wound glowed silver. Gau arched his back at the pain, but when Cyan moved to steady the boy he did not try to struggle away.

Magic. Cyan shivered. It was an unnatural art, a thing of villains and demons. Centuries and centuries past the world had almost been torn apart by the magi: expert wielders of magic and the infernal monsters that did the same. Doma had been one of many countries to demand their extermination. And the first to begin actively hunting them. Though no human had shown a trace of the ability in well over five hundred years Doma still maintained strict laws about the prompt disposal of any who might seek to bring those foul powers back into the world. When word of the Empire's vile discoveries reached them there had been no hesitation in the actions of himself, his king, and his countrymen. All trade relations with the Empire were abandoned. No citizen of the Empire was allowed to pass through Doma's borders. Any Imperial ship found in Doma's waters was to be sunk or taken captive. If the Emperor himself did not agree to meet with Doma's king to work out a resolution Doma would declare war. But just weeks after the embargo was put in place the Empire slipped a single ship past and landed a troop of those wretched magical machines, that first force burning a swath through the countryside, destroying several towns, two railway stations, and countless miles of track before the military finally subdued them.

By the laws and customs of Doma that had been drilled into him since childhood Cyan should have slain, or at least abandoned, the majority of his companions. And yet . . . Sabin, who could control beams of holy energy and hold fire in his hands, saved him in the Imperial camp and after, when the rage subsided and grief came in force. Celes, a servant of the empire imbued with the hellish powers of magic, had spoken against the attack on Doma so passionately that it almost led to her execution. Terra, not even fully human, was little more than a confused child trying to make sense of the world and her place in it. Relm and her grandfather, Strago, had both been born with their magic and used it their whole lives yet they were as human as he. One was an artist, the other had been a scholar, neither held any penchant for death or destruction as legend said the ancient magi had. Though Relm did like to throw around her lightning bolts a bit more than Cyan thought necessary.

It was magic now that was undoubtedly saving Gau's life. While Gau whimpered and twitched his flesh knit together at the behest of the silver light emanating from Edgar's hand. When it was done and the young king pulled his hand away there was only a pale scar where once a gaping hole had been. Gau prodded the area experimentally.

Edgar leaned back on his heels. "Does it hurt?" When Gau shook his head Edgar's lips turned up a in a smile. "Good. Just be careful, alright? I'm not as good with magic as Celes or Relm, so I'm not sure how well it will hold. Maybe my brother can fix up the rest of you back on the airship."

"Cyan too?" Gau asked.

"Tis not-" he started to say.

"Of course," Edgar interrupted. The young king turned his blue eyes toward Cyan and raked them up and down his battered body. "He needs it as much as you."

He should have argued. He should have refused to let any of them touch him with magic. Though he had been healed with it before that had been done without his consent. It was the principle of _acquiescing_ to the use of magic upon his person that was important. But when Sabin trotted over and placed ash coated hands over his throbbing left shoulder all Cyan did was clench his jaw and let the agony of the healing consume him.

Bone and muscle that should have been allowed weeks to heal was wrenched together and sealed in a matter of seconds. Tendrils of magic traveled over his skin as well, mending bruises with sharp flashes that quickly turned to dull aches as the magic faded. When it was finally gone Cyan was left with a wrist that still throbbed, a shoulder he wouldn't have trusted to make a full rotation in its socket, and a feeling of nausea twisting around in his gut.

Sabin frowned. "I did what I could, but I don't think you should do much of anything for a while. When we get back to the Falcon I'll get you a proper sling for that arm."

"Do not concern thyself," Cyan snapped. He could tend to his own hurts well enough. He certainly had no need of cowards to assist opened his mouth to argue, but Celes called him over to assist with moving Shadow. The monk shot Cyan a frustrated look before sprinting to where the former general was casting yet another healing spell on the assassin's still and bloody form. Edgar watched him silently, his face showing no expression. The young man's hand twitched as if he had been about to hold it out in an offer of assistance. But he never did. Instead Edgar spun on his heels and strode angrily across the cave to see to Setzer and the still unconscious Relm. Cyan felt no remorse for causing such emotions in the brothers. Despise him they might, but he would do the same in return.

Cyan shifted his stiffening knees and placed the better of his two hands against the stone. If he stayed on the ground much longer he was not sure if his legs would resist cramping and freezing in place. His first attempt to rise ended almost as quickly as it had begun. The instant he put pressure on his throbbing wrist the pain returned in force. He settled back, pausing for a moment to grit his teeth. Then he tried again, this time trying to stand without using either of his arms for support. His legs would not lift him. They were weak with pain and exertion, too weak to lift him up on his own. Cyan forced away the frustration of being unable to do the simplest of tasks and braced himself for the pain that would inevitably come when he used one, or both of his injured arms to lever himself up enough to get his legs under him.

Gau was watching him. The wild boy had yet to attempt standing on his own, but if Cyan had to guess that had less to do with his body's physical condition and was more due to a state of upset over what he perceived he had done wrong. His tawny eyes flickered around the cavern, likely scanning the locations of their companions, before resting on Cyan again. Abruptly he stood and scrambled over, grasping Cyan's upper arm on his better side with both hands and heaving hard. To his surprise Cyan found himself rising off the ground at the sudden, painful, jerk on his arm. It never ceased to amaze him how remarkably strong Gau was for his size. Cyan quickly forced his legs beneath him to take some of the pressure off the arm Gau held and, with the wild boy's help, finally managed to stand.

Cyan looked down at Gau's dirt and blood splattered face. "My thanks, Sir Gau."

"You angry?" Gau whimpered. But he didn't move away.

"Not with thee," Cyan assured.

At the cavern's center Sabin gingerly lifted Shadow's limp body into his arms. For the first time since Cyan had known the dog, Interceptor did not snap or snarl at the monk. Instead the dog shakily rose up and limped along in Sabin's wake as the monk headed back the way they had come. His brother and Setzer were next to follow, Edgar carried Relm in much the same way Sabin carried Shadow and Setzer rushed to overtake the other two and walk in the point position. The gambler's skills in combat were unconventional, but he should be able to manage any monsters the party came across long enough for the Figaro twins to set down their burdens and join in or for Celes to make her way to the front for assistance. The woman did not immediately follow the others. Instead she waited at the entrance of the cave branch that would lead them out. She watched Cyan and Gau as they limped closer with frigid eyes. Cyan meant to walk past her without acknowledging her presence.

A hand fell on his not quite healed shoulder and squeezed. Cyan let out an instinctive hiss of pain and tried to jerk away. The hand released him as Celes swung around to block his and Gau's forward passage. The woman's expression did not change. Cyan was a good bit taller than the woman, but even so it seemed as though she was looking down at him. Gau froze, his tawny eyes widening, then immediately sunk into a crouch, whimpering and twisting his head to offer up his unprotected neck.

"If we cannot trust you, you cannot come with us."

Gau let out keening whine and Cyan simply stared.

"You almost killed yourselves and could have killed anyone who tried to aide you," Celes said. She was not shouting, but her voice had an edge of steel to it. No, Cyan thought, not steel. Ice. Sharp, deadly, and unbelievably cold. Celes watched them will all the grace, dignity, and the cold fury a general who had been betrayed by their own was allowed.

"Control your power," she said to Gau, "And control your mind," she said to Cyan, "Endanger us again and you will be left at the first town we come across. If it comes to it . . . if I have to," she paused to take a deep breath, "I will kill you myself."

Any leader had to keep their goal in mind. Anything that got in the way of that goal must be avoided or eliminated. Their goal was to fight the god who now ruled this world and Celes was, it seemed by default, their leader. Cyan could not fault her words, or her intentions. If it came to the point where he was too dangerous to his companions to continue on with them he would welcome death gladly. But before that . . .

Gau was frozen. The boy seemed torn between trying to shrink in on himself and leaping forward to challenge the ice eyed woman. The poor child had only just found them, only to be faced with abandonment once again. Abandonment or death. Cyan clenched his jaw. Before he died he had to be certain that Gau would be safe.

"It shall not come to that," he said.

Celes nodded. "See to it that it doesn't." Cyan thought he might have seen the former general's shoulders sag as she turned away to follow their companions, but he passed it off as the lack of light playing trick on his eyes. The further away Celes traveled, the more Gau uncurled from his cringe. Only when she was finally out of sight did the boy straighten completely. He shifted over and pressed himself into Cyan's left side hard enough and sudden enough to make the pain in his shoulder flare anew. He had to swallow a groan and school his face to smoothness before he looked down at the shivering child. Gau's tawny eyes held no light of wildness as they met his own.

"Gau want stay with friends," he whined, "Not want hurt. Not want make afraid. Not know how . . . how . . . uwaoo . . . stop self? Stay self?"

"Control thyself," Cyan supplied. Gau's eyes brightened almost imperceptibly and he nodded. Once again Cyan found himself contemplating the similarities of Gau's trance like state of rage with his old friend's occasional decent near berserk fury while in combat. If the state of being he had been trained to fall into since his youth was of the same vein as the state Gau entered that made him more beast then human could they not utilize the same methods of control? Even if this was not the case, if Gau's actions were dictated by instinct might it be possible to refine those instincts while he was not subject to that rage, to shape them so his body knew what to do when fighting alongside another?

In spite of the pain in his shoulder Cyan moved his arm so it rested around Gau's trembling shoulders. Gau _would_ learn how to control himself. Their companions _would not_ push the boy away. If it was possible, Cyan would teach Gau himself. But he knew better than anyone that there were no certainties in life. It was just as likely that Gau's bestial state could never be changed and that he would always remain a danger to those around him. If this was the case, if he was forced to leave for the safety of their companions . . . Cyan would not let him leave alone.

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_ A note on Celes. I'm sure a lot of you see her as acting perhaps overly harsh in this chapter. And yes, she absolutely is. I like Celes, I really do. But I see her in a very particular way, especially at this point in the story. She grasped the reins of leadership in the party because no one else would. Sabin, Setzer, and Relm have no interest in command, Edgar is a political leader without much military experience, Gau has no idea how one is supposed to lead people, and Cyan refuses to take the position. Celes is leading them the only way she knows how: as the general the Empire trained her to be. She is harsh because she believes that it is the only way to keep her "army" together, to keep them safe. And she hates it. The last thing she wants to do is take Gau or Cyan's life. But she would do it in a heartbeat if she felt they were endangering the rest of her "troops"._

_ Also, hope you didn't mind my world building. Now I just need to figure out how to proceed from here . . . this is what I get for not following my nice, simple, original plan! _


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